The Honeyheavy Dew of Slumber
by Kate McCaye
Summary: Summaries are evil. Basically, Carter starts having dreams that are pleasant but distracting. She tries to get rid of them while trying to keep their nature secret. Completed.
1. The innocent sleep

A/N: This story takes place early Season 3, about a month after "Point of View." Talk about a giant breadcrumb. Shouldn't be too hard to guess where this is headed now.

Ch 1

Sam Carter was working in her lab, as was her custom when she was on Earth. She was so wrapped up in the calculations she was programming into her computer that she jumped when her CO suddenly barked, "Carter!"

"Sir?!" she exclaimed, half giving the correct response, half scolding him for interrupting her work and startling her.

He was grinning. "Scare ya?" he asked, his tone indicating full well that he knew he had scared her.

"No, sir," she muttered, turning back to her computer.

"Yes I did," he said with an obvious sense of pride, coming into the dimly lit lab and leaning on his elbows on the table across from her.

"Was there something you needed, sir, or did you just get bored?" she asked.

"Actually, now that you mention it, Carter, I was wondering if you know what time it is." She looked at him suspiciously but glanced at her watch nonetheless.

"It's 2:15, sir," she replied.

"That's what my watch says too, Major," he said in the tone he usually reserved for small children, or for Daniel when he was being particularly stubborn about remaining on a boring planet full of old rocks.

"Now," he continued, and Carter finally realized where he was heading with all of this. "When it occurred to me that you're still hard at work in your blinky-light lab here, I said to myself, 'Now, this watch must be broken. Maybe you shouldn't have chucked it at Siler yesterday in the locker room when he...' never mind. 'The point is,' I said to myself, 'that I KNOW Major Carter would be sound asleep if it were really 2:15 in the morning, because Major Carter was specifically limited to the number of extra hours she could spend in her lab as of last month, and she has already used up her quota for _this _month.' Naturally, I assumed the fault lay with my watch rather than with you, and I sat down to write a nasty letter to the watch company about their obviously crappy watch designs."

Carter shifted on her feet, trying very hard not to sigh out loud. She got the point, okay, he didn't need to beat her over the head with it. Plus he was obviously enjoying this reprimand session entirely too much.

"Then," O'Neill continued. "I thought, 'Wait a minute, maybe you should just go _check _Carter's lab before you send off an angry letter to the watch manufacturers, just to be _certain _that your 2IC isn't blatantly disregarding a direct order from her CO...'"

Carter couldn't take it any more. He was going on at a rate worthy of Daniel when he figured out some connection between ancient civilizations. "Sir, I know I'm out of 'lab time,' as you called it, but I kind of thought you were just joking about that, sir..."

"Do I _look _like I'm joking, Major?"

"No, sir..." she paused, trying to figure out how best to deal with the situation, and continued with a grin, "I thought the schedule you drew up on that napkin was more of a... guideline really. And I really had no idea it had gotten so late, I sort of lost track of time I guess..."

"Now, now, Carter, lying to your CO is a serious offense," he warned.

"Lying, sir?"

"I have it on good authority that when the last lab guy left at eight you told him to leave everything on for you and, what was it again, oh yes I remember, you told him specifically _not _to tell Colonel O'Neill that you were still working."

"That little..."

"Oh, he didn't rat you out, don't worry. Not exactly, anyway. I made Daniel get it out of him. No no, your little fan club of techies are very loyal, but they are easily fooled by friendly archaeologists with donuts. Soooo, Carter. Can you give me a reason NOT to report all of this to Hammond? He's very concerned about you overworking yourself, you know."

"I don't think we need to bother Hammond with this simple misunderstanding, Colonel," Carter said hastily, watching with trepidation as he slowly made his way around the table to her side. "I mean, he's not exactly a young man is he, sir, if he's really concerned about me I would hate to add unnecessary stress to his life when this is obviously something that could be resolved between us."

"And how, exactly," Colonel O'Neill started, his voice suddenly low. When had he gotten that close to her? He was practically stood on her foot. "Do you propose we do that, Carter?" he finished with a smug smirk.

Trying very hard to look as though the way he was looking at her and the fact that he was standing half an inch away from her was having absolutely no effect on her whatsoever, Carter said, "I don't know, sir, maybe you could... pretend you didn't find out I was working late tonight and I could... promise never to do it again... well without permission... from you or Hammond... or if there's a real emergency, or if..."

Not only was his body definitely way too close to hers but at some point during her rambling, his head had inched closer to hers as well, until almost her entire field of vision was full of dark brown eyes that looked strangely happy. Suddenly it occurred to her that maybe working so late really _wasn't _a good idea. Her brain was not functioning properly. She felt like two people all of a sudden: she knew whatever the hell he was up to was a really, really bad idea, but for the life of her all she wanted to do was glance down the tiniest bit, because logically, his lips had to be somewhere in the vicinity of his eyes.

"Or..." he prompted.

She did it. She glanced down when he spoke and saw that the very corners of his lips were barely turned up, seemingly of their own volition.

Speak, some part of her brain suddenly shouted. "Or," she repeated, desperate of a way to finish the sentence. It didn't matter how she did it, she just really needed to...

He leaned in the tiniest bit and kissed her. Somewhere in the back of her mind she registered the idea that she _definitely _wouldn't be getting written up for defying orders after _that _blatant disregard for the regulations.

The rest of her mind just started screaming 'Woo-hoo this is nice!' and she had just decided that was a really great part of her brain that she should listen to a little more often when she crashed to the floor.

-------

She opened her eyes, dazed and confused, and looked around the lab. Her stool was on the ground next to her; she had clearly fallen off of it. Colonel O'Neill was nowhere to be found. She was completely alone.

"What the hell?" she asked as she pulled herself to her feet and brushed herself off. She realized she had dreamed the whole thing as she looked at her watch - 3:30. Taking the strange dream as a sign that she was exhausted, she shut down everything in her lab and headed off to her quarters to (hopefully) get some decent sleep.


	2. This thing of Darkness

Ch 2

Carter wearily let herself into her quarters and headed for her chair without turning on the lights. She was so familiar with the tiny room that she could navigate it easily even in pitch black. She sat down in the chair to take off her boots and several things happened at once.

The chair, which had learned how to move, screamed. She screamed and almost slid off of the moving chair onto the ground but the chair grabbed her around the waist to keep her from falling, at which point she realized it wasn't a chair at all.

"Sir, what the hell are you doing?" she hissed, getting up angrily and flicking on the desk light.

They both blinked at the sudden light, even though it was dim, and then looked at each other.

"I was waiting to see what time you decided to obey my order and go to bed," he replied finally, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world for him to be doing.

She blushed suddenly, registering the similarity to the dream she had just had.

"I must have fallen asleep waiting... this chair is not very comfortable, you know," he said accusingly, as if she had _asked _him to sit around waiting for her.

"Sorry, sir. I lost track of time."

He stood up yawning and stretched, then said, "All right, Carter. Just don't let it happen again."

"Yes sir," she said, grateful that he was about to leave.

It was so _weird _having this conversation in her tiny room while only minutes before she had been dreaming about... things she definitely shouldn't be thinking about either awake _or _asleep.

As he brushed past her he distinctly muttered, "Yes, sir, my ass."

"Sir?" she countered as his hand was on the knob to leave.

"Oh, just expressing my opinion that your last statement was a load of crap, Major," he said with a grin. His expression softened a bit and he continued, "Seriously, Carter. You look like you need some rest."

"Yes, sir."

He nodded to himself and left, shutting the door quietly behind him. Carter groaned and sat down in the chair to take off her boots. It had been a very strange night.


	3. The lady doth protest too much, methinks

A/N: Thanks for all the feedback so far, everybody. In case anybody was wondering/didn't know, the chapter titles and story titles are all stolen from the Bard. The part of my brain that has been busily searching through ancient and wonderful books in the British Library is seeping into the rest of my life... On w/ the story, cuz that's why you folks are here!

Ch 3

Daniel and Teal'c watched in impressed silence as Carter drained her second cup of coffee since sitting down with them in the commissary for breakfast. She set the empty cup down next to her untouched breakfast and looked back and forth between them.

"What?" she demanded as she surveyed her breakfast tray and decided the only really safe thing on it was the container of yoghurt.

"Are you feeling well, Major Carter?" Teal'c inquired, slathering an unnatural quantity of butter onto a piece of toast.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Teal'c. Why?" she asked, looking back and forth between the two men she thought of as brothers.

"Oh, he might be a little bit concerned by the fact that you're drinking your coffee like the secret of life is hidden at the bottom of the cup," Daniel said as Carter refilled her own mug and his as well.

"Sounds like somebody's jealous," their CO said, interjecting himself into the conversation as he set his tray down on the table and took the seat next to Carter.

"Jealous? And good morning, Jack," Daniel added.

"Morning campers. And yes, seems you have competition in the coffee-addict category this morning, Daniel..."

They all turned back to Carter, whose face was once again obscured by the giant coffee cup she was polishing off at breakneck pace.

"Hey, come on, you'll give yourself an ulcer," Colonel O'Neill objected, not-so-discreetly moving the carafe to the other end of the table. "Rough night, Carter?"

She was doing her very best to avoid direct eye contact with her CO, knowing that if she looked straight at him she would turn bright red.

"Sam?" Daniel asked, the teasing tone from earlier replaced with sudden concern. It was very un-Sam-like to ignore a direct question from her CO.

"Sorry. Yeah, I... didn't sleep well is all."

"You sure? Maybe you should go see the doc," Colonel O'Neill suggested as he shoveled a large spoonful of cereal into his mouth.

"I'm fine, sir... besides, I have that report to give to General Hammond this morning, I don't really have time to go see Janet."

"Fine. For now," he stipulated, pointing at her with his spoon, which was dripping milk, just for emphasis.

Carter went back to her breakfast, pretending not to notice that all three of them were watching her intently.

-------

That night after she finished up her work on the main computer in the gateroom, she headed for her lab, glancing at her watch in the process. It was just past eight, so why was the door closed? As she got closer to it, she saw that there was a note taped to the door, a folded piece of paper that said "Carter" on the outside in familiar handwriting.

Ripping it off the door, she opened it quickly and read it under her breath. "Carter, go home. I've officially had you locked out of your lab. Get some rest before you make yourself sick." He had signed it, 'your friendly neighborhood CO.'

Frustrated, she stuffed the note into her pocket and headed for his quarters to demand that she be allowed in her own lab. She had just raised her hand to bang on his door when she noticed a post-it on his door as well. Now even angrier, she snatched it off the door and read it with gritted teeth.

"Nice try, Carter, but I've gone home for the evening, and I strongly suggest you do the same. Teal'c will be checking up on you at nine, and I wouldn't want to be in your shoes if he finds you on base." She kicked the door for emphasis, earning a confused and scared look from a passing Airman and a sharp pain in her big toe. She added that note to the one already crumpled in her pocked, and headed for the locker room to change and go home, unable to believe she had spent the entire day avoiding that _jerk _because of a stupid little dream.

-------

She was absolutely furious that he had locked her out of her lab, and done it so sneakily too. Leaving those notes... he had obviously been too afraid of her counterargument to discuss it with her, and had resorted to childish tricks. General Hammond wouldn't be too pleased with his 2IC if he knew about this, she thought with satisfaction. What if there was an emergency and she was locked out of her lab? That would go over really well.

She had only been home for about an hour but she made up her mind: he was not going to get away with this. She grabbed her jacket and car keys and headed over to his house. She pulled into his driveway, hoping he had heard the loud roar of her bike and was now cowering in fear. She hurried up to his front door and started knocking loudly, not stopping until he opened the door.

The surprised look on his face made her pause. His hair was sticking up even more wildly than normal, and he was wearing an old gray Air Force shirt and navy plaid pajama pants. "Carter," he said by way of greeting, rubbing his face with one hand, still looking confused.

"Were you asleep?" she asked quickly, sounding much more accusatory than she had intended.

"Yeah. What's up?"

"What's UP?" she asked incredulously, stepping inside as he stepped aside to let her in. "You have me locked out of my lab and you really expect me to just let it go?"

"Oh. That," he said with a rueful grin.

She faltered at the look on his face and then continued. "Sir, if you have any complaints about the quality of my work, I would like you to follow proper channels in dealing with those issues..."

"I don't have any complaints about your work, Carter," he said calmly, as though they were discussing the weather and she was not standing in front of him basically throwing a tantrum. "Other than the fact that you do too much of it."

"General Hammond doesn't seem to have a problem with the amount of work I..."

"General Hammond doesn't care about you like I do."

"W..." she stopped, unable to think of a proper response to that.

He grinned. "Well, did I just render Major Dr. Sam Carter speechless?" he asked proudly.

"You're not..." she started, unsure exactly of how she had intended to finish her statement, because she suddenly found herself backed up against the front door, being kissed very, very thoroughly.

-------

She woke up on her own couch, looked around, and started swearing loud enough to wake the dead. Once was bad enough but if this became a habit she'd NEVER be able to look her CO in the eyes again, which could be a bit of an issue next time they found themselves surrounded by Jaffa.


	4. Giv'n unsought

Ch 4 – Giv'n unsought

Three days later, Sam Carter was feeling like she must be on the end of some evil Goa'uld mind game or something. Every time she fell asleep, she kept having different dreams all with one disturbingly common factor: she and her CO always ended up in a passionate lip lock at the end. It had never gone any further than that, but she wasn't quite sure whether that was due to the fact that she had started trying to wake herself up from the dreams or not.

She was avoiding him as much as possible at work, but that wasn't saying much. He was just... always around on base. She was finding it harder and harder to look him in the eye, and becoming more and more frustrated with her subconscious or whoever was to blame for the dreams.

Sure, she'd admitted to herself a long time ago that there were some feelings, or at least the potential for feelings, that she had for her CO that General Hammond would not have been thrilled to hear about, but she had logically done the good soldier bit and kept them shoved into the deepest, darkest, dustiest corner of her mind.

She had never had a very exciting dream-life before either; on the few occasions she remembered her dreams they usually involved complex pieces of alien technology. So she was in unfamiliar and uncomfortable territory now, and she didn't like it one bit.

To avoid the dreams that made her want to avoid her CO, she was trying to sleep as little as possible, filling her time more than usual with work, or independent work if she couldn't find something she was supposed to be doing. She was getting very tired and her patience with herself and the dreams was quickly wearing thin.

All of which went a long way towards explaining why she was sitting in the commissary at two o'clock, staring absently at her lasagna. She didn't even notice when the one person she'd been trying to avoid sat down right across from her with a loud, cheerful greeting.

Colonel O'Neill dug into his own lasagna, waiting for her to return the greeting or at least acknowledge his presence. When she didn't, he looked at her in concern.

"You okay?" he asked. She actually jumped. She _never _jumped, even if they were being ambushed.

"Sorry, sir," she said quickly, flashing an apologetic smile.

"No problem," he said with a shrug, returning the smile. "I'm sure it's important, whatever it is."

"Sir?" she asked, confused.

"What you're thinking about. Saving the universe again?"

"Not this week, sir," she replied with a slight laugh.

He laughed as well, and watched thoughtfully as her mind instantly wandered again. Either her head was too heavy for her neck today, which wouldn't have really surprised him since it was so full of information and ideas, or she was examining her lasagna for signs of alien life (not necessarily a bad idea), because she went a full five minutes without looking up at him once.

He had noticed, of course, that she had seemed distracted and tired this week, but she often got like that when she had a big project going on. However, when Sam Carter had a big project going on, she was also usually pretty excited, sometimes even downright giddy, about said project.

So it bothered him that she seemed so sullen. Maybe she was sick. They were scheduled to go off-world in two days, to watch Daniel get an archaeological survey under way. If she was sick, she needed to see the doc right away. And if she wasn't sick, maybe Janet could help her with whatever was bothering her, because it was obvious she didn't want to discuss it with him.

When he had eaten his entire lunch and she had done nothing besides poke at hers absently a few times, he set down his fork loudly, which made her look up for the first time in ages. "Thought your neck was broken," he commented, getting up and coming around the table.

"Sir?" she asked, confused about his comment.

"Come on," he said, ignoring the confused and questioning look she was giving him. When she didn't move, he grabbed her arm lightly and said, "Come on, you're going to the infirmary."

That at least sparked some emotion. Her cheeks got red and her eyes got bright and she said, "Sir, with all due respect, I think I would know if I needed to visit the infirmary."

"There's obviously something wrong with you. At the very least you aren't sleeping right, you look exhausted. We've got a mission in two days, I need you healthy. Come on. That's an order," he added in his most serious CO voice, tugging her up out of her seat.

She pulled her arm out of his grip and followed him grumpily to the infirmary, where Janet was busy wrapping an ice pack on Siler's right foot. Apparently he had dropped his giant wrench on himself. For the third time. That month.

"Colonel, what can I... Sam, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Carter insisted pointedly, crossing her arms.

O'Neill ignored her and turned to Janet. "That's what I'd like to know. She hasn't been sleeping or eating and has been living off coffee."

"Well, not that I approve of that lifestyle, but isn't that pretty normal for Sam?" Janet asked lightly, teasing her friend. Colonel O'Neill chuckled. One look at Sam told Janet she wasn't in the mood to be teased.

"All right, well, I'll just do your pre-mission check-up now instead of tomorrow, Sam," she said as she finished with Siler. "Colonel, that's your hint to leave," she added when he didn't move.

"Oh. Right." He smiled at them both. Only Janet returned the smile.

"All right, Sam," she said in a low voice once the Colonel had gone. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, Jan," Sam promised as Janet separated them from Sgt. Siler with the privacy curtain. Janet looked at her pointedly. "I'm serious. I'm perfectly healthy."

"All right, then what's bothering you?" Janet asked, tossing her a pair of scrubs to change into.

"Nothing," she said, knowing Janet wasn't going to buy it. At Janet's look, she sighed. "All right, there is something. It's so stupid though."

"Well, however stupid it may or may not be, it's starting to affect your work, which I know must be driving you crazy."

"Exactly!"

"Want to talk about it?"

"Yeah," Sam admitted, surprised that it was true.

"Not here though."

"Ooh, is it juicy?"

"Not by your standards," Sam said, her mood lightening somewhat.

Janet laughed and said, "All right, why don't you come over for dinner tonight and we'll talk about it then?"

"Thanks, Jan."

"Sure. Might as well get the physical over with now though, since you're in here."

"But..."

"Colonel O'Neill's going to ask me about the results anyway."

"Fine," Sam agreed, sighing overdramatically.

Janet watched her friend in amusement. Whatever was bothering Sam, she definitely was not acting like herself.


	5. Hurlyburly

Ch 5 – Hurly-burly

Sam knocked on the door of the Fraiser household a bit nervously. While she dearly loved Daniel and considered him one of her best friends, there were some things he would never be able to intuitively know about her simply because he didn't think like a woman. Janet on the other hand... tonight had the potential to be very embarrassing.

It was Cassie who opened the door, and one look at the eager grin on her face told Sam that her mother had told her she was coming over with 'something juicy,' and Cassie was to be included in the evening's events, whatever they might be. Cassie hugged Sam excitedly and hurried her inside.

"Hey Sam. What's the big secret about?"

Sam sighed. To Janet, her response would have been something like: "What are you, thirteen?"

Cassie, she had to remember, _was _thirteen. "It's not a big secret," she said patiently, taking off her coat. "How's school?"

"Fine. Come on, tell me. Is it about Jack?"

"No," Sam lied quickly, sure that her cheeks, which felt like they were burning red, were betraying her.

"Uh-huh. Riiiight. MOM!" she suddenly yelled. "SAM'S HERE!!"

Sam flinched slightly at the yelling. Janet came in from the kitchen. "Hi, Sam. Everything's ready."

"You cooked?" Sam asked, amazed at her friend's ability to juggle being a single parent and working at such a demanding job.

"It's only pasta," Janet said dismissively.

Janet's idea of 'only pasta' consisted of chicken cacciatore, toasted garlic bread, a huge salad, and steamed vegetables. While they ate, Sam was more than happy to listen to Cassie going on about the trials and tribulations of middle school. Not only did it make her feel better about her own issue, it kept the attention off of herself.

After they cleared up, Janet said, "All right, Cass, homework."

"MOM!" Cassie suddenly whined, looking shocked and hurt. "I didn't hear what's wrong with Sam yet!"

"There's nothing wrong with me," Sam said quickly.

Janet held up her hand. "You have school tomorrow, Cassandra," she said firmly. "Homework comes first."

"Napoleonic power monger," Cassie muttered as she left the kitchen grumpily.

Sam had to fight not to laugh; she knew exactly where Cassandra had picked up that phrase.

Apparently, so did Janet, because her eyes narrowed and she muttered, "Big needle for you next time, smart-ass..."

As she put on a pot of coffee, she turned to Sam and said, "Speaking of which, I've been wondering about you all day, Sam, and I've come to the conclusion that whatever you're about to tell me has something to do with Colonel O'Neill."

Sam blushed again and wondered if there was some type of blushing desensitivity training seminar she could take somewhere. "Not exactly... not directly at least. Jan, it's so stupid..." she started.

"Let's go in the living room," Janet suggested as she poured coffee for both of them.

"Okay," Sam agreed, taking her own cup.

Once they were in the living room and seated, Janet turned to Sam expectantly. "Okay, shoot."

"Do you... remember your dreams?" Sam started, choosing to direct her question into her coffee rather than at her friend.

"SAM, YOU HAD A SEX DREAM ABOUT COLONEL O'NEILL??" Cassie demanded loudly, peeking around the corner.

"NO!" Sam said quickly.

"OUT!" Janet ordered firmly.

Cassie stuck out her tongue and scampered away laughing.

"I didn't," Sam insisted to Janet.

"All right, I believe you, Sam, just... tell me what's been happening."

"I just... I keep having these dreams..." She filled Janet in on everything, including how she had been feeling during the day and her reluctance to sleep.

Janet listened patiently and then thought for a moment. "Well, I'm not a psychologist, Sam, but... this has never happened before? It's all of a sudden? And every night?"

"Yes."

"That's strange," Janet agreed. "I mean... if anything I would have expected you to have more dreams about him when you first met, you know, before you really... I don't know."

"What does _that _mean?" Sam asked.

"I don't know. Just that... there's always been this thing between you, hasn't there?"

"Janet! He's my CO!"

"I know, I'm not suggesting anything inappropriate, I just mean... something. Something little maybe."

"No there hasn't," Sam insisted firmly.

"Okay. Well, anyway, my point is, I don't see why this should be happening all of a sudden. Did something happen recently or..."

"No, nothing. I mean, after Apophis's ship, we've been having a pretty easy time of it compared to how we normally do things."

"That's true. Even Daniel's spent a record number of time out of my infirmary."

Sam laughed lightly.

Cassie came back into the room. "Done!" she announced with a note of finality, going over to the VCR.

"Cass, we're talking here, sweetie," Janet said as Cassie started looking through the tapes below the TV and selected one.

"I know. But we have to watch a movie while we do this, it's like a rule."

"What'd you put in?" Sam asked.

"Star Wars. Episode IV."

Janet and Sam looked at each other and shrugged. "Han Solo," they both said at the same time, their way of agreeing to watch the movie.

The atmosphere quickly deteriorated to that of a slumber party. Janet was conscious of it, and knew that it was mostly her daughter's doing, but Sam seemed to be relaxing a lot. She wasn't getting defensive every time Cassie teased her about the dreams, and everyone was enjoying themselves, even though they weren't really making much progress towards resolving Sam's problem. Maybe a distraction was all she really needed, Janet thought doubtfully.

All of this, plus Cassie's puppy dog face, which Janet was certain she had learned from Daniel, made her agree to a Star Wars marathon, even though Cassie had school the next day.

As "A New Hope" ended, Cassie said thoughtfully, "You know, you guys should all go as characters from Star Wars for Halloween."

"Why?" Sam asked.

"Well, I mean think about it, it fits perfectly. Teal'c is Chewbacca, obviously. Strong silent type, has the whole Zen master thing going on..." Sam laughed at the description of her largest friend. "And you and Daniel are like Luke and Leia."

"I don't see that," Sam argued.

"Aw, come on. You're the science twins."

"But Luke and Leia aren't..."

"Daniel is the idealist," Janet put in.

"True," Sam admitted. "But why am I automatically Leia, just because she's the only woman in the movies."

"No, because she's cool," Cassie insisted. "And because Jack is Han Solo, so...mmmrmmph!"

Sam had whacked her with a pillow.

Cassie took the pillow, giggling, and said, "It's true, you know it is!"

Sam turned to Janet for help, but Janet was failing in an effort to conceal her own laughter. "Sorry, Sam, I'm with Cass on this one."

"Janet!" Sam said, sounding scandalized.

"Sorry," Janet repeated, laughing. "That's ridiculous. If anything, Daniel's C-3PO and I'm R2D2. He's the translator and I always fix everything..."

Cassie started laughing hysterically. "Sam, why on earth would you want to be R2D2? He looks like a trash can!"

"He saves their butts all the time!"

"Okay, but Princess Leia tells him what to do. Pretend she built him."

"You're insane."

"You're insane! You'd rather be a Pepsi can than make out with Harrison Ford!"

"Well when you put it that way," Sam said, putting an end to the argument. "And who are you two supposed to be?"

"We're Ewoks!" Cassie said proudly.

Janet rolled her eyes. "I am NOT an Ewok!"

"Okay Mom, you can be Yoda I guess," Cassie agreed.

"Yoda is GREEN!"

"Yoda is the wisest of anybody though," Sam pointed out.

"I'm NOT being Yoda," Janet said stubbornly. "He has hair coming out of his giant ears."

Sam and Cassie both laughed and Cassie said, "All right, fine. Be whoever you want. Sam, come over here so I can paint your toenails."

-------

"Saaaaaaam," Cassie teased as Han and Leia geared up for their first kiss. "Look it's just like you and the..."

"Oh my GOD!" Sam suddenly exclaimed, sitting up straight and looking like she just had an epiphany. She clearly hadn't heard a word of Cassie's teasing.

She yelled so loudly that Cassie, who had been French braiding Janet's hair, jumped, taking Janet's hair with her. Janet yelped in pain and Cassie apologized. "It's okay," Janet said quickly. "Sam, what is it?"

"I just realized something... I think I know what started the dreams." Suddenly she felt like a complete idiot for not realizing it sooner.

"This is gonna be good," Cassie said as she picked up the remote and stopped the movie. She and Janet both focused their attention on Sam, waiting expectantly for her to continue.

"Remember the incident about a month ago, Janet?" Sam asked. "The mirror..."

"Yes, of course."

"What mirror?" Cassie demanded.

"Can't tell you," Janet said. Cassie sighed angrily. She was used to it, but still... at least Jack and Daniel could be tricked into mentioning details of their latest missions.

"He kissed _her,_" Sam said pointedly to Janet, hoping she'd figure out she meant the alternate reality Carter.

She obviously had, because Janet's eyes widened in surprise, while Cassie demanded, "Jack KISSED somebody? And in front of YOU?! WHO!?!?!"

Ignoring this, Janet said, "How do you know?"

"Because I saw them. He did it right in front of me, right before he came back through... the door," she said carefully, glancing at Cassie. "Daniel and Teal'c had already... gone... he knew I was standing right there..."

"Why are you just now realizing this is what caused the dreams?"

"I don't know, it was such a weird thing to see I just pushed it to the back of my mind... I mean of course, there was the whole part about them being..." She looked at Cassie again and chose her words carefully, "Well, you know what I'm talking about, Jan..."

Janet nodded.

"But that was just in theory, to actually see them... it was so strange."

"I can't even imagine."

Cassie knew she was missing a lot of the conversation, but she chimed in anyway with, "Well if he did it right in front of you it obviously didn't mean anything to him." Both women turned to look at her, plainly confused. She rolled her eyes. "Look, he wouldn't have told you about it, let alone let you watch, if it meant anything to him. Are you sure whoever it was didn't just grab him and plant one on him before he could get away?"

"Yes," Sam answered, frowning slightly.

"Well... I dunno..." Cassie trailed off, losing interest and wanting to get back to the movie. Janet gestured silently for Sam to follow her back into the kitchen so they could continue their discussion a little more freely.

They didn't really resolve anything, but as Sam finally headed home she did feel a bit better. At least she had sort of realized _why _she had started having those types of dreams... even if she didn't really come up with a logical reason, or a way to get rid of them.

Janet's final suggestion was still running through her head as Sam pulled into her driveway: "You should talk to Colonel O'Neill about it... no, I don't mean tell him about the dreams, I just mean talk about what happened..." She snorted as she fumbled with her key. "Yeah, right."


	6. We are such stuff

A/N: Just to clear up a little confusion about a previous chapter, the post-it notes were real. The idea was that she had gone home, fallen asleep on the couch, and then started the dream about going over and yelling at him about the post-its, since she would never be able to do that in real life.

Ch 6 – We are such stuff

"Doc!" Jack barked loudly as he entered the infirmary.

"Yes, Colonel?" Janet asked after taking a deep breath for patience.

"Any idea where Carter is? It's ten o'clock. She missed breakfast."

"I arranged for her to have the morning off, sir. General Hammond okay-ed it. She'll be in at noon."

"I thought you said she was fine," he said, frowning.

"She is. She's just... always got a lot on her mind," Janet said evasively.

Jack narrowed his eyes at her. "You do remember that she's my 2IC, don't you Doc? If there's something wrong with her, you have to tell me about it."

"There is nothing medically wrong with her, Colonel," Janet said firmly.

"Ah-ha! So there IS something wrong with her though?" he asked quickly.

Janet rolled her eyes. "Sir, with all due respect, conversations that happen off the clock are really none of your business."

Jack sighed grumpily, knowing he wasn't going to get any information out of Janet Fraiser unless it was information she wanted him to have. She was probably the only person on base who wasn't the least bit intimidated by him when he got into bully-mode.

He decided to give it one last try. "Come on, doc, just tell me..." he wheedled.

"Tell you what, sir?" Carter asked as she entered the infirmary.

Janet sighed and shook her head slightly. "Sam, you were supposed to take the morning..."

"I did."

"That means sleep in."

"I did," Carter repeated.

"All right, Carter, now you're here, do you mind telling me what this big secret is between you and the Doc?"

He hadn't really expected her to answer him, but was somewhat comforted by the fact that she at least looked rather flustered. It DID say Colonel on his uniform, after all.

"There's no big secret, sir," she said once she had recovered from the initial surprise.

"Really?" he asked doubtfully.

"Of course, sir," she replied with a huge smile.

He narrowed his eyes grumpily. How could you argue with that?

--------

Daniel, Carter, and Teal'c were all standing in the embarkation room at ten to two, waiting for Colonel O'Neill and the start of their mission. Daniel was so excited Carter was surprised he wasn't orbiting the room by now.

They were going to the abandoned planet P9X283, which was very similar to Earth aside from the fact that it had been completely deserted some time ago. Daniel was to officially start a long-term archaeological excavation there, to try to find out what had happened. SG-1 would accompany him, in case any other visitors decided to drop by while they were there. They were to be there for three days by themselves, at which point they would be replaced by a long-term research team after they had completely secured the area.

Daniel's excitement was contagious. Well, Teal'c seemed to be immune. So it was really only affecting Carter.

When Colonel O'Neill joined them, General Hammond spoke from the control room: "Nice of you to join us, Jack."

"Had to set my VCR, sir. Didn't want to miss 'The Simpsons,'" Jack called with a casual wave up at the General.

Carter laughed quietly. Daniel was obviously irritated by the pointless (in his opinion) delay in their mission.

"Calm down there, space monkey, or I'm switching you to decaf," Jack ordered as he adjusted his cap.

"SG-1, you have a go," Hammond said. They watched the MALP disappear into the puddle and followed it up the ramp.

-----------

By the end of the day, even Carter's enthusiasm had started to wan. They had walked an impossibly long distance, and as Teal'c lacked the gentle touch required and Colonel O'Neill just flat out refused to "play in the dirt," it had fallen to her to help Daniel start the tedious excavation process, while the other two "secured the area."

Carter's sarcastic comment that "secure the area" had suddenly started to look a lot like "juggle your canteens," while earning a big laugh from Daniel, had not gone over too well with her CO, whom she hadn't realized was listening.

She felt terrible about the comment: it was true, but it was still unprofessional, and she never would have let something like that slip had she not still been irritated by the dreams she kept having.

All in all, she was relieved when they called it quits for the day and sat down to eat. She patiently listened to Daniel going on and on about what they had found that day, because she knew it was a conversation Colonel O'Neill wouldn't want to listen to or join in. Sure enough, he quickly started talking to Teal'c about his newest fishing reel, and Carter had the sneaking suspicion that she and Teal'c were probably feeling very similar at the moment as they both listened to their respective enthusiasts, nodding occasionally whenever it seemed appropriate.

"All right, Campers," Colonel O'Neill finally said, clapping his hands. "Let's all get some sleep. I'll take the first watch, Carter second, Daniel, then Teal'c."

"Yes, sir."

"As you wish, O'Neill."

"Jack, can't I go last?" Daniel whined.

"No," Jack said firmly.

"Why not?"

"Because, if you go last that means dawn. If there's light, you're going to wander from camp and get back to work, which is completely counterproductive to the idea of being on watch," Jack said knowingly.

Carter couldn't help smiling. No matter how dense he pretended to be sometimes, he rarely missed anything.


	7. Nothing can come of nothing

Ch 7 – Nothing can come of nothing

It was chilly at night on the planet, but not too bad. About like Colorado in the spring, Carter thought as she unrolled her sleeping bag after sweeping an area clear of loose dirt, rocks, and sticks. She and Daniel put their sleeping bags close enough together so that they could talk a little, as was usual. Teal'c rolled his out about ten feet away from them so that he could meditate without being disturbed. She knew, however, that he would be watching out for all of them all night long, no matter what Colonel O'Neill said about taking shifts. The Colonel stayed by the fire, sitting up with his back against a very large tree. He appeared relaxed; he was practically holding his P-90 like a teddy bear, but one look at his eyes told her he was scanning the area intensely.

She had been worried about this mission, not because it was dangerous, but because she wasn't sure whether or not she talked in her sleep, and she definitely did NOT want to be in a situation where the rest of her team heard her having a dream about her CO. Daniel would rupture a spleen laughing, Teal'c would lose all respect for her, and Colonel O'Neill would never let her live it down.

"Sam? Did you hear me?" Daniel whispered loudly, turning on his side in his sleeping bag to face her.

"Sorry, Daniel, what?" she asked quickly, turning all her attention to him in the hopes of distracting herself.

"I was saying that quarry looks like a mass grave, but not for people... some kind of animal, I think. Elephants are known to do that, maybe there's a connection there..."

"Go to sleep!" the Colonel called from his spot by the fire, sounding like he was scolding children.

Daniel rolled his eyes but did finally remove his glasses, so Carter took that as her cue as well. "Night, Daniel," she said, turning away from him to sleep on the side she preferred.

Within five minutes, she knew Daniel was sound asleep. He didn't snore exactly, but despite all the antihistamines Dr. Fraiser prescribed, he still tended to breath loudly at night. Colonel O'Neill called it snoring, although Carter insisted it wasn't quite loud and nasally enough for that. And Teal'c had repeatedly refused to be the tie-breaking vote between them.

She listened to Daniel not-snoring for what felt like forever, doubting whether or not she'd be able to sleep at all. Oh well, her shift would start in... she illuminated the display on her watch... three hours.

"CARTER!"

She jumped slightly before realizing he must have seen her looking at her watch. Returning to a sleeping position, she let out a very loud and obviously faked snore. Colonel O'Neill laughed quietly, picking up a stick absently to poke around in the fire with.

Teal'c cracked an eye open, looked back and forth between the two of them, and went back to kel-no-reem.

-------

Carter woke up feeling like something was wrong (aside from the dream she had purposefully interrupted). She sat up and looked around.

Colonel O'Neill was standing now, but in the same place he had been sitting. "My ass fell asleep," he explained when he saw her looking at him.

She looked at her watch. It was halfway through her own shift. She started to ask him what was going on but he motioned her to come over there first, so as not to disturb Daniel and Teal'c. She quickly stuffed her feet in her boots and carefully made her way over to the fire.

He sat down next to her, leaning back comfortably against the tree once again, and said, "I wasn't tired anyway, and you could use the sleep."

While it was a nice gesture, it wasn't protocol, and she knew he wouldn't have done the same for Daniel under the circumstances. "I'm fine, sir. If Dr. Fraiser agrees that I'm fit to be off-world, then..."

"You just seemed really tired. That's the end of it."

He got up quickly, almost angrily, and brushed leaves off his backside much more loudly than was necessary. He went over to his bedroll and deliberately unrolled it closer to her than normal, just so she would be sure to see he wasn't happy about things. As if a blind alien unfamiliar with Earth body-language wouldn't have been able to tell.


	8. Then must you speak of one who loved not...

A/N: This chapter is disproportionately long, I know, but since it's basically all one conversation I couldn't find a good spot to break it up. Thanks for all the great reviews, everyone!

Ch 8 – Then must you speak

The last thing in the world Sam Carter wanted to do right now was make peace with her CO. Yet she felt that if she let the dreams start affecting not only her own performance at work, but the entire dynamic of SG-1, she would never forgive herself. It wasn't his fault, after all, that she was suddenly having dreams about kissing him. Besides, it wouldn't take much to smooth things over.

"Sir?" she asked as soon as he had stopped squirming around in his sleeping bag, deliberately, she was certain, making as much noise as possible.

"What?" he asked flatly.

"Thanks."

"Sure. Night, Carter."

He was absolutely silent for a full five minutes. Just as Carter had started to think he had definitely gone to sleep, he said, "I can't sleep."

"Sir?"

He got up again and sat down around the fire, not too close to her, but close enough. "Might as well keep you company."

"I'm wide awake, sir, if you're worried about me falling asleep..."

"I'm not. I'm just wide awake now too."

"Oh."

They both stared into the fire for several minutes, although she thought he was probably looking at her quickly in concern every once in a while. She knew what he was doing. He was waiting for her to start talking so that she knew it was she who brought up whatever was bothering her. That way she couldn't say he had forced her to talk. She had seen him use this technique when interrogating people before. That he was using it on her now, and that it was starting to work, was maddening.

She held out for the better part of an hour. Finally, she couldn't take it any more. Janet was right, apparently the only way to go about getting rid of these dreams was to figure out what it was about 'the incident' (as Janet had dubbed it so they could speak of it around Cassie) that was bothering her so much. Besides, she wasn't likely to get as good an opportunity for a serious conversation with her CO without the risk of being overheard anywhere else.

"Umm, Colonel?" she said quietly, glancing over at Daniel and Teal'c to make doubly sure they were asleep or meditating.

"Something on your mind?" he asked innocently.

For a second, she wondered if he truly thought she was oblivious to the tactic he had used. Then she decided it was irrelevant: she had decided to do this, she was going to do it.

She just had to do it slowly.

"I was thinking..." she began. "When the... alternate reality Kawalsky and Dr. Carter were here..."

He barely moved at all, but she rather thought he had gotten tense all of a sudden.

"That night when I ran into you in the hall, and you asked me how I was doing with the 'whole twin thing?'"

"Yeah..."

"I thought you were joking."

"I wasn't," he said simply.

"I realized that. I just... I guess I just wondered if the offer was still on the table?"

"Oh fer cryin out loud, you've been thinking about alternate realities this whole time when I offered to listen to you a month ago even though I KNEW I'd only understand about 5 of whatever you had to say..."

"No."

He looked at her in surprise. She rarely interrupted him, and when she did, she was always polite about it.

"Sir," she added quickly. "No, sir. I haven't been thinking about alternate realities this whole time, it just... something has been bothering me lately and last night Janet, Cassie and I figured out that it must be relating to that... I hadn't realized the connection before."

"Oh. Wait. You told Cassie about the alternate realities?"

"No, sir," she said quickly. "We skipped that part when she was around."

"Oh," he said, nodding, although he was clearly confused already.

Carter sighed. "I guess I just... I mean, I think I'm okay with most of it... at first I started wondering about the possible different versions out there, of myself and everybody else, started wondering about different decisions that could have been made at any point..."

"Like what?"

"Well, in the other two realities we've encountered so far, I wasn't in the military."

"That just doesn't seem right."

She smiled. "But it's a legitimate choice."

"So what made you decide to join the Air Force? Here, I mean."

"Well... I really wanted to go to NASA, and I wanted to fly before that..."

"What were the reasons not to join then?"

She bit her lip. "Mainly stuff with my dad, I think. I was very young, of course, and I still resented how absent he was from our lives. And I think part of me still blamed his career on my mom's death."

"So you didn't want to be like him?"

She nodded. "And also I think it was that I knew me joining the Air Force would please him. Mark is an accountant, and he always liked to pretend I was a son rather than a daughter. Anyway. I knew logically the Air Force would be my quickest way to NASA..."

"So you made a smart decision rather than an emotional one."

"I guess I did."

"And now you're not sure if it was the right decision?" he asked.

She looked at him in surprise. He actually looked a little bit scared. "No. Of course not. No. I love my job. I can't imagine doing anything else, it just... when somebody shows up looking like you, it kind of... makes you wonder."

"Yeah. I'm glad no other O'Neill's have stopped by."

"I'm sure General Hammond shares that sentiment, sir," she said without thinking.

He laughed. "That was good, Carter."

"Thank you, sir."

They were quiet for a little while, and finally he said, "So was that all? You weren't sure if you made the right choice? Because you seemed pretty sure to me when you were going at it with your twin..."

"No, that wasn't all. Just... it was weird having her around."

"Yeah, it was," he agreed.

They were getting close to the inevitable topic, but each was carefully avoiding it. Neither wanted to be the one to bring it up. Suddenly Carter remembered a long time ago, being shocked to learn that Colonel O'Neill had had a family. Even more shocked when Daniel had told her what happened to them. He wasn't exactly a very talkative guy, but then again, he had been more communicative tonight than she could remember. Even though he wasn't really saying much, he was surprisingly good at the listening part.

She would have to be the one to bring it up.

"You... spent a lot more time with her than I did. Sir," she said carefully.

"Well, Hammond and I figured it would probably be best not to leave the two of you alone together very much... he was concerned you'd blow up the base in an effort to out-smart each other," he said casually with a grin.

She laughed and said, "I'm sure. Are you... she seemed very different. To me. From me."

"She was. She... confused me."

Feeling brave, she said lightly, "So not so different, I guess."

He laughed again and said, "Another good one. You should give Teal'c some lessons. Confused me in a different way though."

"What do you mean?"

"I just... didn't see how she could be you. She was just so different, but she looked like you... it was just... weird."

She wondered if different meant better, but she knew she would never ask.

"The hair?" she asked lightly.

He laughed. "Yeah, the hair was weird. But I mean, I guess it was just because she had never had any military rules or anything... she wasn't so... the way you and I both have to be."

"Guarded?"

"Yeah. I mean, it was weird. She was kissing Teal'c and General Hammond and hugging everybody... it was... weird. I mean, were you like that your whole life? Before you joined the Air Force? All... open?"

"No," she said quickly. "Not at all."

"Me neither."

They were getting dangerously close now, and she was losing her nerve.

"What about you?" she asked.

"Huh?"

"I mean... did you think about your alternate reality... self?"

"I was dead."

"Sir."

"I tried really hard not to. I'm not a very complicated guy, Carter. I'm probably basically the same everywhere."

While it wasn't theoretically true, she felt like he was probably right. What did that say about either of them, though? His alternate version had _married _her alternate version. It was so hard to think about. Not only did that little snippet have the entire base gossiping like little girls for weeks... it was just a very strange idea to understand. How many different ways could their relationship have gone if they themselves weren't defined by such strict rules? It was mind boggling in and of itself, but when coupled with the fact that they were also talking about different versions of themselves, with different personalities and different life experiences... it was impossible to say how that could translate over into their own lives. Yet it had, and this wasn't even the first time... Carter remembered Colonel O'Neill being more puzzled by the fact that the two of them had been engaged in another reality than the idea that Daniel had actually visited another reality in the first place.

"Carter?"

"Hm? Oh, sorry, sir. Kind of spaced out there."

"Yeah, I noticed," he said quietly.

She glanced at him. He was watching her as if trying to read her mind. Say something.

"You, um, seemed to get along well."

Anything _but _that, she screamed at herself. Hoping her cheeks weren't red and if they were the firelight would hide it, she had no other choice but to wait for him to say something now. Was he going to make a joke, or continue speaking plainly and honestly?

He poked around in the dirt for a few moments with his stick and finally said, "I felt sorry for her."

"Oh."

"Even before I found out about... I mean, she seemed so sad already... and I don't think she's as smart as you are. Is that possible?"

"I don't know... what makes you say that?"

"She was confused too. I mean, she knew her... husband was dead, but... she didn't seem to understand that I wasn't him. That I was different."

"She knows the laws of physics just as well as I do. She knew you were different. Maybe you just... I don't know, maybe you were right earlier, and you weren't _that _different."

"Plus she was sad. She wasn't thinking clearly."

"I suppose not," she agreed half-heartedly.

So what on earth was she supposed to think now? She had thought he _liked _that version. He had certainly spent enough time with her, and _kissed _her, for crying out... NO, she told herself firmly. Do NOT start incorporating that phrase into your inner dialogues. Now he sounded as though he had only been being as kind to her as he would have to anybody else, no matter whose twin she happened to be. He had pitied her. If that was all, shouldn't that knowledge have made her feel better about the whole situation? Why then did she now almost _want _him to feel the opposite? At first she had been mad that he had _liked _that version, now she was mad that he didn't?

She sighed in frustration, wishing her alternate self had just stayed in her own reality. She had brought out a lot of things Carter had carefully hidden away long ago and would have been perfectly happy to leave alone. She realized he was still talking and hoped she hadn't missed anything important.

"... I just felt so sorry for her... I mean, most of the people she knows get killed or worse, her planet is invaded by the Goa'uld, and if she's anything at all like you she was beating herself up over not being able to prevent it even though it wasn't her fault... then she finally figures out a way to save herself but that turns out not to work either... plus I'm walking around looking like somebody she... cared about."

"I didn't know what to say to her. I mean, I wasn't alone with her much, except when we were working on the generator, but... that's terrible, isn't it? I should have tried to talk to her I just... it was hard."

"General Hammond was right." At her questioning look, he explained, "He said there are some lines that shouldn't be crossed."

"Yeah." That applies to a _lot, _Carter thought. Including the reason for this incredibly uncomfortable conversation in the first place.

"I didn't know what to say to her either," he said after a few minutes. "Every time I tried I just... couldn't come up with anything. You're a lot easier to talk to," he said with a sudden smile. "Of course, maybe if she hadn't just been through such a horrible ordeal she might have been easier to get along with."

"You seemed to get along with her all right as it was," Carter said evenly, hoping she didn't sound jealous or anything embarrassing like that.

"I was talking about you. Easier for YOU to get along with."

"Oh."

Suddenly she felt incredibly stupid. She would gladly spend a week explaining blackboards full of impossibly complex astrophysics calculations to anyone... even to Colonel O'Neill... over having a conversation with him about ideas and feelings she didn't even understand herself.

She was running out of ways to hedge around the subject. She was certain he knew what she was getting at and was just playing dumb, which was infuriating the hell out of her. He wasn't going to help her out here at all. She played with a leaf absently, tearing it up into tiny little bits in her hands. It seemed a much better use of her time than actually continuing the conversation, which had come to a screeching halt in front of the giant roadblock that was The Issue, as Carter had now taken to calling it in her own head.

She jumped as Colonel O'Neill's watch beeped loudly, shattering the silence. He raised both eyebrows at her. "Any particular reason why all of a sudden you're jumpier than a kangaroo on crack?" he asked as he turned off the alarm.

"No, sir," she mumbled.

"Daniel's turn," he said unnecessarily as he stood up and brushed himself off. "Umm... was that... all you wanted to talk about?"

"Yes, sir."

"Sure?"

"Yes, sir," she said, nodding enthusiastically. _Too _enthusiastic, she scolded herself as she got up to go back to her sleeping bag.

"All right. If you're sure..." he trailed off, going over to Daniel and nudging his side with the toe of his boot. Daniel stirred but refused to wake up. "Oh Danny boy, get up. Time for school."

No response.

Carter settled back down in her own sleeping bag, watching the wake-up-Daniel show with concealed amusement.

"Danny, Carter decided to use your really old rocks for an alternate energy source of some kind... she ground them all up into a really fine powder and..."

Daniel's eyes snapped open and he looked distraught for a moment as he reached for his glasses. As soon as he put them on, the figure leaning over him came into focus: upside down, smug-grinning Jack O'Neill.

"Funny," he said with a yawn as he sat up. "What's going on? I'm supposed to relieve Sam..."

"Her shift just ended. Your turn Daniel-son."

While Daniel put his shoes back on, Colonel O'Neill turned back to Carter. "Get back to sleep, Carter. That's an order," he said firmly.

"Yes sir."

He nodded, satisfied as Daniel made his way over to the fire with his pathetic little thermos of instant unknown-substance-pretending-to-be-coffee. Colonel O'Neill went back over to his own sleeping bag and got into bed loudly, various joints popping and creaking as he made himself comfortable. Finally, with an over-dramatic sigh, he closed his eyes and was asleep in less than a minute. It was a skill most soldiers developed. Then again, most soldiers (hopefully) also didn't develop the habit of dreaming about their Commanding Officers.


	9. What a piece of work is man

Ch 9 - What a piece of work is man

The next day began much as the day before. Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c hung around at a safe distance from Carter and Daniel as they dug relentlessly in a rocky quarry. "Safe distance," in this circumstance, was defined as Colonel O'Neill being out of earshot of Daniel's babbling about the fantastic discoveries they were making and their potential significance.

It didn't take long for him to insist on 'patrolling the area,' even though they knew it was perfectly safe. At least walking was something to do, and it kept the scenery fresh. After he and Teal'c had been gone for a while, and Sam and Daniel had been working quietly, Daniel said, "Sam, do you want to talk about... what's bothering you?"

"Why is everyone so concerned about me?" Sam demanded, poking angrily at the dirt.

"Because we care about you and you're not yourself. Janet's checked you out though - you're okay, right?"

"Yes, I'm fine," she said, softening a little. What he had said was true, she should be glad she had friends who knew her so well they noticed when anything was a bit off.

"So it's something else then... bothering you... about Jack?"

"What makes you think it's about the Colonel?" she asked, looking up at him quickly. She pushed her sweaty bangs out of her eyes, which left a smudge of dirt on her forehead.

"You ah... were talking in your sleep last night. During my shift."

"Oh my God... Daniel, what did I say?" she asked, mortified.

The fact that Daniel wouldn't meet her eyes and was suddenly busy working again did little to calm her overactive imagination.

"Daniel?" she prompted.

"It was mostly incoherent..." he began, trying to reassure her. "And Jack was sound asleep, so he didn't hear anything... what happened last night?"

"Nothing," Sam insisted. "He couldn't sleep. We had a conversation during my shift. That's all."

"Were you arguing? Because in your dream it sounded like you were..."

"Not really. We just talked about the alternate reality visit we had a while ago..."

"Oh. Is that what's been bothering you?"

"Sort of," she admitted.

"Guess I'm lucky... apparently this is the only reality where I do anything that matters," he said, a hint of bitterness in his voice.

"You don't know that," Sam said gently.

"Two out of two..."

"There are an infinite number... for all we know, in most of the rest, you've been so successful that the Goa'uld are not a threat at all and that's why we haven't run across any of those."

"Thanks," he said with a small smile, which she returned. "Seriously, though, what's bothering you?"

"Seriously though, what did I say in my sleep?"

"It sounded like you were arguing with someone, that's all... you looked kind of mad, it became clear you were talking to Jack, then... you stopped arguing."

"And?" she asked, worried. She already knew what had happened after that.

"Nothing too bad... just a few... noises."

"Oh no."

"So... how long have you been having sex dreams about Jack?" he asked with a cheeky grin.

She swatted his arm. "I'm not!" she insisted.

"I beg to differ. I thought about recording it for proof, but..." at the look of horror on her face, he laughed. "I didn't, I swear."

"They're not sex dreams!" she insisted again, realizing she'd have to tell him the truth or he'd assume something far worse. "I just keep having these dreams that start out normal, like regular conversations we might actually have, or something, and somehow we always end up kissing. That's it. Just kissing."

"Oh. Well, that's probably because you saw him kissing the other Dr. Carter."

"Ya think?" she replied sarcastically. "Wait, how did you know about that?"

"I just put two and two together. It wasn't hard. The way he told us to go ahead and go and the look on your face when you guys came back..."

"So... have any ideas on how to get rid of them? I thought maybe if I talked to him about it... but I tried that last night and it didn't work."

"You told him what's been happening?"

"Well, no, but..."

"Did you talk about him kissing her?"

"Not exactly, but..."

"Then how did you expect it to help?"

"Could you stop being so smart for a second and listen, Daniel? I _can't._"

"Yes you can."

"No I can't."

"_Yes, _you can, Sam. And you should."

"Daniel..."

"Sam. You've got to. Otherwise," he said with a sudden smile. "You might be overheard by _him _next time, and then he'll think you're dreaming about..."

"Okay, thank you!" she said quickly, hearing Teal'c and the Colonel approaching.

"Hey kids, find anything interesting?" Colonel O'Neill asked loudly as they entered the quarry.

Daniel started to answer but the Colonel held up his hand. "Just being polite, Daniel, no need to actually answer. Carter, you all right there or do you need a break from digging in the dirt?"

"I'm all right, sir," she said quickly, exchanging a nervous glance with Daniel before going back to work at double the average speed.

He came over to them and crouched down across from her. Teal'c stood stoically as always, behind him. "Carter, when your CO offers to give you a reprieve by taking your place doing something he considers particularly unpleasant, the nice thing to do is accept the offer."

"I don't mind helping Daniel, sir, and I know you don't like this type of thing."

"Hello, I'm right here," Daniel objected mildly.

Ignoring him, O'Neill continued speaking to her. "All right, Carter, how's this: Go take a hike with Teal'c. Be back for lunch at 12.00."

"Yes, sir," she said, standing up and brushing herself off. She gave Daniel a stern look, warning him silently that if he valued his life he wouldn't breathe a word of their conversation to Colonel O'Neill. He nodded that he understood.

Carter turned to Teal'c, smiled at him, and the two of them set off.

"Major Carter, may I ask you something?" Teal'c inquired politely once they were a quarter mile away from the quarry.

"Sure, Teal'c."

"You appear troubled by something. You have not been sleeping well."

"Nothing gets past you, does it?"

"I merely wish to let you know that I am here, should you need someone to talk to. I am sure Daniel Jackson, O'Neill, and Dr. Fraiser have all expressed similar sentiments."

"You're right, Teal'c, but thanks."

"You are welcome."

They walked in silence for a while, then Teal'c said, "If you wish, I could perhaps assist you by giving you some techniques on meditation. It could help you clear your mind before sleep."

"Thanks, Teal'c," she said, latching onto the idea. Maybe that would work, and then Colonel O'Neill would never have to find out what had been happening to her. "That would be great. Can we do it right now?"

"If you wish," he said, concealing his surprise at her eagerness.

-------

"Carter!" her radio blasted an hour and a half later.

She jumped, her eyes snapping open. Teal'c opened his eyes slowly, not startled at all by the interruption.

"Yes, sir," she replied through the radio.

"Where the hell are you? You're supposed to be back here!"

"Sorry, sir. We're on our way."

"You didn't run into anything didja?"

"No, sir. Just lost track of time. We'll be back in ten minutes, sir."

"All right."

She turned to Teal'c and smiled as they started off. "Thanks, Teal'c. I really think that should do the trick."

"I hope you are correct, Major Carter. However, if something of importance is troubling you, it will not solve your problem forever."

--------------

A/N: Sorry not a lot happens in this one, but I felt like it was necessary to have Teal'c and Daniel express their concern, and for Daniel to point out that she still hasn't resolved anything. Next chapter ASAP.


	10. Oh, then I see that Queen Mab hath been ...

Ch 10 - Oh! Then I see that Queen Mab hath been with you.

By the end of the day, Sam Carter was in absolutely no mood to have another conversation about her little problem. Not with Daniel, or Teal'c, and certainly not with Colonel O'Neill. She was exhausted from the long day of crouching in the dusty sand in the scorching sun, and she couldn't remember the last time she had a decent night's sleep. All she felt like doing was taking a hot shower and curling up in her bed at home. Climbing into her grimy sleeping bag still covered with a fine layer of sand was not exactly inviting. Plus she knew she'd be so paranoid about sleeping around the guys tonight she wouldn't be able to at all. At least they were going home tomorrow, she thought grumpily as she took the MRE Daniel handed her. She didn't even feel like eating. All she wanted to do was sleep.

The Colonel came over with his own ration and sat down loudly next to her. "Hey, Carter, are you recording the Simpsons for me?"

She restrained herself from rolling her eyes, but just barely. "I wasn't aware that was in my job description, sir."

"It's not," he said casually, not bothered by the irritated tone of her voice. "I was just hoping you might be. I still can't get my Tivo to work right. Maybe you could come have a look at it when we get back?"

She felt her cheeks get hot as she remembered part of one of their imaginary conversations that had led up to quite a good kiss. Swallowing the mouthful of whatever it was she was eating, she said, "Sure."

"Good. Actually, I was kind of wondering if you wanted to go back now."

"What? Why would..."

"You just seem like you could use a break. I mean, you're obviously exhausted, it's not like we're in a dangerous situation here. I don't think Hammond would mind if..."

"Well, nice to know I'm not even needed," she snapped, suddenly not even caring that she was being insubordinate. She stood up quickly, tossing her MRE back at Daniel, who was watching them both in a shocked-into-frozen position, and glanced at her CO as she stomped off away from their campsite. He looked completely stunned at her behavior.

She was certain she would be stunned herself once she cooled down, but at the moment she was too irritated by everything in the world to care. She crashed angrily through the forest, not even minding where she was going. Suddenly it occurred to her she was near the lake they had checked out on their first day, which fortunately, according to the MALP, did not have any fish in it big enough for O'Neill to bother about trying to catch. It was freezing cold, but she felt so grimy and frustrated at the moment that she was suddenly glad of the fact.

Knowing she was blatantly defying protocol, she sat down on a rock and started pulling off her boots. She was glad the planet was orbited by two large and relatively close moons; it made visibility even the dead of night possible. She stripped down to her black underwear and bra, sure that at some point Daniel would probably come find her and therefore reluctant to remove anything else. Oh well, she would just go commando after she got out of the water. She scrambled out onto one of the larger rocks that jutted out into the lake and dove off of it.

She hit the icy water so hard that it knocked her breath away. She knew it was cold but hadn't been expecting it to be _that _cold. Teeth chattering, she started swimming on her back, hoping to get used to it fast. At least she had got all the sand and sweat off of herself. It suddenly occurred to her that it had been incredibly stupid to dive off a rock into an alien lake without any knowledge of how deep it was or anything. Oh well. Nothing had happened, except that she was now so cold she doubted she'd ever be warm again.

She was about to head back over to the rock and haul herself out when the last voice she wanted to hear at the moment suddenly barked, "CARTER!"

She looked up at her CO, who was standing on the edge of the rock she had just jumped off of. "Sir, in case you couldn't tell, I came out here to be alone!" she yelled. Well, she had already committed major insubordination, might as well say what was on her mind.

"Tough!" he called back. "Get up here, now."

"With all due respect, sir," she said icily, "I will come up when I'm ready to." Which would have been five minutes ago if you weren't standing there, she thought to herself as she tried to keep her teeth from chattering.

"That was an _order, _Major. Get up here right now."

"You're standing between me and my clothes," she argued.

"Ohforcryinoutloud... You're going to freeze. I want to talk to you." At least he had stopped barking at her. She knew she was playing a dangerous game; he was on the verge of losing his patience, which was never a pretty thing. He'd never lost it with her before though... maybe if she stayed in the water just a little bit longer, the part of her brain that kept making her have those damn dreams would freeze too...

Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud splash nearby. She turned angrily to her CO as he surfaced right next to her, swearing and wiping his face angrily. "Dammit Carter this is freezing!"

"That's why I didn't ask you to join me!"

"Do you mind telling me what the hell is bothering you so much that you felt the need to throw yourself off a very dangerous looking rock in the middle of the night?"

"Actually, yes, I DO mind as a matter of fact," she said, swimming towards the rock. He grabbed her ankle and pulled her back.

"Let go of me," she said evenly, turning to glare at him. He let go of her leg, but the look on his face warned her not to try and swim away again or he'd just do the same thing.

"Okay then, how about this. Do you mind telling me what it is that I appear to have done to piss you off so much?"

She was freezing, this was ridiculous. He wanted to know, fine. "You KISSED her. Right in front of me. Do you have any idea how weird that was to see? It was bizarre... I don't know what to do with that..."

"You're acting insane because I kissed your twin?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes."

"I don't understand... what's the big deal?"

Now she was even more frustrated than before. Even as she was about to say it, she knew she was now even more upset than ever before that he was about to make her utter possibly the biggest cliché female line of all-time: "Well, if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you!" she said, trying to swim away from him again.

He grabbed her from behind and spun her around to look at him. Their legs kept knocking together as they both trod water. He was ignoring it; it was irritating her more than ever. "What the hell is that supposed to mean, Sam? You know I'm an idiot. You're going to have to spell it out."

"It means..." Suddenly she was positive she was about to burst into tears, and that was unacceptable. "I don't know what it means," she confessed. "I just can't stop... thinking about it."

"Jealous?" he asked teasingly with a big smug grin.

She rolled her eyes and pushed him, but he grabbed her arms again and crushed her to him. As soon as their freezing lips met she forgot how cold she was. This kiss was ten times as intense as any of the others she had imagined in her sleep. It seemed to go on forever... finally, part of her brain became coherent enough to remind her she should still be swimming, or they'd drown, and she should breathe at some point, or she'd die...

And suddenly she was coughing and spluttering, and two familiar voices were talking near her, and big hands turned her over onto her side and rubbed her back, and she kept coughing up water. When she finally stopped, someone rolled her onto her back again, there was a lot of talking, somebody was pushing her hair out of her face, she felt herself being wrapped up in something warm, and she recognized her CO's voice, sounding really far away, saying, "Teal'c, carry her." Then everything went fuzzy.

--------

A/N: Points to people who work out which bits were real and which weren't.


	11. My salad days

A/N: Thanks for all the great reviews and guesses, guys. I enjoyed them all. The story is intentionally confusing because Sam is getting more and more confused. Stick with it, I hope it will be worth it for you in the end.

Ch 11 - My salad days

The next time she woke up, the first thing she realized was that she was still cold, but not as cold as she expected to be. She had the mother of all headaches too. She opened her eyes and saw that she was lying on her pallet, which had been moved as close to the fire as safety would allow.

The Colonel was seated on the opposite side of the fire, a blanket draped around himself, his hair sticking up even more than usual. "Hey," he said quietly, looking at her with his most serious expression.

She started to sit up and looked down at herself in confusion as she realized she wasn't wearing anything other than two thermal blankets. Clutching them tight, she sat up quickly and looked around for Daniel and Teal'c. They were nowhere in sight. Sighing, she buried her head in her hands.

She heard her CO moving and wasn't surprised when he sat down next to her and put a hand on her back. "Hey. What's wrong?"

"This isn't real," she said firmly, looking around them.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"None of this is real. I'm dreaming again."

"What..."

"Where are Daniel and Teal'c? Conveniently elsewhere? We're just by ourselves naked in front of a fire? This isn't happening."

"Woa, Carter... calm down. You're not dreaming, I swear. Although now that you mention it that doesn't sound entirely unpleasant..." he said with a rueful grin.

Her cheeks flushed and she looked around quickly. "Are you sure? Where are Daniel and Teal'c then?"

"They went back to get your stuff."

"What stuff?"

He sighed. "I think we need to start this conversation again. And you'd better take this opportunity to tell the truth or it's going to mean another psych screening for you when we get back home. What's the last thing you remember?"

"I was... coughing. Freezing. On the ground. You and Daniel were talking. Teal'c picking me up."

"Good," he said encouragingly. "What about before that?"

She frowned. "We were... swimming."

"Why?"

"I lost my temper, I left during dinner, I jumped in the lake, you followed me."

"Carter, you fell asleep during dinner," he said gently.

"I did? Wait, no, that's impossible."

"Not really. Daniel was being particularly boring. You nodded off right over there, sitting up and everything. Just sort of slumped over, leaning on Teal'c."

"I did?"

"Yup. We brought your pallet over so you could sleep and he stretched you out on it... he and I went to go contact the SGC, I wanted to talk to Janet, make sure there wasn't something wrong with you... when we came back Daniel was freaking out because you were gone. He was supposed to watch you, but he left you alone for a minute to go to the bathroom and apparently you took off. Luckily you left an easy trail, I had no trouble following it. You're right though, you were swimming in the lake. We started calling to you but you started swimming further away, then you just disappeared under the water. I hauled you out and you weren't breathing. We got you breathing again, brought you back, and tried to warm you up."

"Oh," she said quietly.

"Oh?" he repeated incredulously. "Carter, this is serious. You could have been hurt. You're not going anywhere until we figure this thing out."

"It's nothing, sir, it was just... a dream. I must have been sleepwalking or something, I don't know..."

"Is that the kind of thing that's been bothering you this whole time? Bad dreams?"

"Yes, sir, I guess you could say that," she said wearily.

"I thought you said it was about the quantum mirror thing..."

"It is... it's all connected...I don't know. Sir, I'd really like to get dressed now."

"Your pants and jacket aren't dry yet."

"Oh. Well, just a shirt even..."

"Five minutes. Then we're continuing this," he said firmly. She nodded and got up, the blanket still securely around herself. He tossed her t-shirt to her, which was lying with the rest of her clothes next to the fire as they tried to dry everything out. She caught sight of her underwear and bra and blushed as she headed into the tent to dress, wondering who exactly had removed those items, and if her whole team now knew exactly where that mole was...

Blushing even more, she rummaged around in her pack for her spare underwear and pulled them on, along with the shirt. She wrapped herself up in the blanket again and went back out to the fire, where Colonel O'Neill was making coffee. She sat back down next to him and he handed it to her wordlessly.

"Thanks," she said gratefully, holding the mug to warm her hands. "And... thanks for getting me out of the lake."

"Yeah. Now. Explain how you go from wondering about alternate realities to running off alone at night and throwing yourself in a freezing lake. You're supposed to be the smart one, you know."

"Yes, sir. I'm sorry this has gone so far, it's really nothing."

"Obviously it's something. Come on. I don't want to have to order you to talk."

"Daniel and Teal'c might..."

"Daniel already knows whatever it is, I could tell he did. Wouldn't tell me anything all day though. So I'm sure he and Teal'c will take their time."

She sighed, staring into the fire. There was no other way around this; he was right, she could have seriously hurt herself tonight. "I... I was telling the truth before. It does have to do with the quantum mirror... well at least I think so... with the other me anyway... and... see, I started having these dreams..."

"About another reality?"

"No... well, kind of in a way I suppose... I mean, they were happening here, but they aren't real... of course they're not real, they're dreams, but I mean..."

"Breathe. And calm down."

"Yes, sir." After several moments, she said, "I didn't connect what happened to the reason behind the dreams until I was at Janet's the other day..."

"You're still being way too vague. I'm sorry but I have no idea what you're talking about. What exactly are these dreams about?"

Biting her lip, and refusing to look anywhere near him, she said, "You."

The silence was thick enough to choke on.

"Oh," he finally said.

"Not anything... it was just... I keep having these dreams that start out normal, and then you, I mean we... kiss."

She was prepared for a variety of responses. She was not prepared for him to burst into laughter loud enough to wake the dead. She looked at him in surprise. He continued to laugh heartily, the blanket had slipped off of his shoulders and he almost fell off the log they were sitting on. "Glad to see the idea is so amusing," she said dryly.

"No, no, no, I just... sorry," he said, trying to control himself. "I just... my god, Carter, do you have any idea how long I... and T and Danny too, have been worried about you, trying to figure out what the problem was? And all it was was a couple of harmless dreams..."

"They aren't harmless! They're disturbing and disruptive to the work environment! They're inappropriate, and annoying and frustrating as hell!"

"But I mean... when you said you were sleepwalking and stuff, I thought you were having nightmares based on some of what we've been through, which would be perfectly understandable... and you just... Carter, for cryin out loud... what were these dreams rated?"

"What do you mean?"

"Come on, R? NC-17?" he asked with a playful grin.

"God, no! PG! If that!"

He burst into laughter again. "So you've had us all worried over nothing."

"It's NOT nothing! It's disturbing!"

"I know, I know, but... so wait... does that mean you've never had dreams about me before?"

She wanted to hit him, she really did. "I never remember my dreams. That's why it's so disturbing that I keep remembering these, and thinking they're real and..."

"That's really sad."

"What?"

"That you don't remember your dreams."

"No it's not. It was working really well for me... God, this is so embarrassing."

"I know. But only because you made it into such a huge deal when it didn't have to be. I'm sorry to laugh at you but honestly, I was expecting something so much worse this is a relief. I was expecting you to tell me you were thinking about quitting the SGC or something... look, if it makes you feel any better, I've had dreams about you too."

Her eyes widened and her cheeks burned bright red. "How is that supposed to make me feel any better?!" she demanded.

"I don't know," he said, still chuckling, unable to believe they were actually having this conversation. "But I still don't get why... oh. Wait. All this started because you saw me... and your twin..." He looked at her for confirmation and she nodded grimly.

"I know it's stupid but..."

"It's not stupid. I guess I should have... I assumed you'd... kind of... thank me. For doing that."

"What?"

"I don't know. I wasn't thinking, I guess. She was just so... not you in so many ways, but she was still... sort of you. I felt so sorry for her and I felt so inadequate... I had no idea what to say to her... she expected me to feel a certain way for her that I never could... the only thing I could think to do was kiss her goodbye and hope she got the message. Which she did. Did you hear what she said?"

"No."

"She said, 'you're really not him are you?' I don't regret doing it, because it worked. She finally understood, which I knew was necessary for me to be able to say goodbye to her with a clear conscience. I don't get all this alternate reality stuff, but I figured it would be bad karma or something if I didn't try to... help her in some way."

She sat quietly, letting all of that sink in. One thing he had said kept repeating over and over in her mind: "she expected me to feel a certain way for her that I _never _could." That was pretty clear. And she had just made a complete fool of herself telling him she dreamed about kissing him... oh god. She was never going to be able to look him in the face again.

She was suddenly filled with such a rush of hatred for her alternate self for forcing all this stuff to happen that she felt ashamed when she realized how sad that Sam's life probably was right at this very moment. Still... she had managed to mess things up pretty badly here as well.

"So... umm... do you think you'll be able to sleep now?" the Colonel asked after she had been quiet for a long, long time. "At least without running off in the middle of the night?"

She nodded, hoping that was his way of ending the conversation and that he would leave her alone to die of embarrassment. Unfortunately, he didn't. He just kept sitting there.

"Teal'c and Daniel should be back by now," she finally said, eager for their return so that they wouldn't have to keep talking. Not that they were still talking, but at least with the other guys there they would have an excuse not to talk.

"I'm sure they're fine," the Colonel said dismissively. He was still watching her like she was about to run off at any moment, she knew it. It was really frustrating.

"What are you thinking about?" he finally asked.

"Me?"

"Yeah. You look like you're trying to run the gate diagnostic remotely through your brain or something. I guess I can see why this is bothering you."

"You can? Because I know it's not supposed to..."

"Well, I guess... if the situation were reversed I would be kind of... pissed off," he admitted.

"You would?" she asked in surprise.

"Of course. Yeah, definitely. If I saw you kissing a version of me from an alternate reality, it would be very weird and I would not be... thrilled. Look. Her being here for a while messed with a lot of things. It definitely messed with my head, for one. I mean, we're... as soldiers I mean, you've got to think a certain way, even if it's hard, or sometimes you don't want to..." he looked at her hopefully, hoping she was following what he was saying, or rather NOT saying. She nodded, so he continued. "So even if, hypothetically, you started to feel like... or you started thinking... but you didn't want to feel like that... or think like that... even if it was just in a small way but you were afraid it would turn into something bigger... then you wouldn't be a very good officer if you didn't... make yourself stop. And just ignore... whatever... until it stopped popping into your head all the time... until you got good at pretending whatever it was... wasn't. Especially if you didn't think the other person... but that would be better anyway, because it would suck if both of you were feeling... and then not..."

That was the longest she had ever heard him talk at once, and she was fairly certain there wasn't a complete sentence anywhere in his confession, but she didn't have trouble filling in the blanks, mostly because she felt the exact same way. He must have thought she needed further explanation, because he continued.

"Anyway. When she... got here... and I learned about how she was... anyway... I guess I sort of realized that even though I had stopped thinking... and wondering... I hadn't stopped feeling... and there's nothing that can be done about it here for so many reasons... well for her too... but I felt like at least I could give her some closure. And... yeah... sorry, I know this isn't what you want to hear. Now _you _look confused."

"No, I understand what you're saying about... that. Things you can't talk about... aren't even supposed to think about... that's why I've been trying so hard to get rid of the... the dreams. I just don't understand... why you said that she thought you felt a way you could never..."

"About _her. _About her I couldn't."

"I don't understand. You said she was more open and..."

"She wasn't you though," he interrupted suddenly. She stopped talking but was pretty sure her mouth was still open in shock. "However much she may have looked like you or sounded like you on occasion, she was different. It was... disturbing. That's all I meant. Now, have I successfully messed up this... whatever this is... non-conversation... enough so that you won't find me too irresistible and you can finally get a decent night's sleep?"

She laughed quietly as she thought about the question. It was true, this had to be the most awkward conversation of her whole life, and they hadn't even actually said anything at all. She had no idea what they were acknowledging, whether it was mutual feelings or the potential for mutual feelings, but she knew they both acknowledged that whatever it was it had to stay completely abstract, or a few dreams would be the least of anyone's worries. Still, she wanted to get rid of the dreams, and somehow she had a feeling they were only going to get more complicated from now on.

----------

A/N: It's not over yet... BTW, I'm of the Jane Austen school of writing if you can't tell;)


	12. Kindle fire with snow

A/N: Wow, first time in what, 15 stories that I've gotten over 100 reviews. I should be cruel to you guys more often, suspense seems to work. Hmm, note to self...

Ch 12 - Kindle fire with snow

That night, after Carter had taken the first shift, she hadn't slept at all. Colonel O'Neill had the shift after her, and she had pretended to be sound asleep every time he came to see if she was or not, but she had still been wide awake when Daniel had taken over for the Colonel.

She was sick of lying still pretending to be asleep, so after she guessed the Colonel was sound asleep, she got up quietly and went over to Daniel, who was sitting by the fire drinking a cup of suspicious-smelling coffee. "Hey Sam," he whispered, scooting over to make room for her.

She sat down next to him and said, "Hey. You can go back to sleep if you want. I'm up anyway."

"Nah, that's all right," he said, passing the coffee to her. "Anyway, Jack would kill me when he found out."

She took a tiny sip of the coffee and almost gagged. "Oh God, Daniel, that's terrible. Are you that desperate?"

"Yes," he said frankly, taking the cup back and looking hurt, as though she had insulted him rather than his pathetic cup of soggy grounds. She smiled at him in a sudden wave of affection as he stared moodily into his cup.

Colonel O'Neill, a few yards away, made a weird snoring sound. They both jumped, looking at each other as though caught in an act of treachery. When he made no further sounds or movements, they continued their whispered conversation.

"You told him everything didn't you?" Daniel asked.

"How'd you know?"

"The way you've both been avoiding each other all night was a tiny clue. That and the fact that when we were straightening up the camp after dinner and he accidentally bumped into you you jumped about ten feet in the air."

"No I didn't."

"Yeah you did. I thought I was going to have to coax you down out of a tree," he said teasingly, nudging her shoulder with his.

"Shh," she said quickly, glancing over at the sleeping lump that was the Colonel, making sure he was really asleep.

"So if you've talked about everything, why aren't you asleep right now?"

"I don't know. I can't sleep. I think I'm too tired."

"Mentally, physically, or emotionally?" he asked.

"Yes?" she answered.

He smiled and shook his head sympathetically. "You know, I know I'll never understand the militaristic way of thinking, but it really sucks that in addition to all you guys go through, the rules clearly state that..."

"I know," she said quickly, glancing over at the lump again. "But honestly, I'm not sure that's not just a convenient excuse."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, we're both pretty damaged people, Daniel. Emotionally at least."

"We all are. All of SG-1. That's why we're so close."

"I know. That's my point. Maybe we just have this... thing or whatever it is between us, because it's easy."

"It's not easy at all, look what you guys are doing to yourselves..."

"Okay, maybe not easy... but comfortable? Like a security blanket? Like as long as we think 'oh if the rules weren't there...' then we won't be worried about our personal lives? Does that make sense?"

"Yeah. If you have an excuse for not having a life, you won't think about it. You'll just think in the abstract, that someday things will change and everything will fall into place. It makes sense. But Sam?"

"What?"

"I think you're wrong."

"Daniel..."

"That's all I'm going to say," he promised. "Your point makes sense, but in this circumstance, I happen to think you're wrong."

"Okay," she said, agreeing to let it go.

"At any rate, I'll be glad to get back to Earth tomorrow," she added after a few moments. At least at home she wasn't constantly around the Colonel. And they were sure to get a few days of mandatory downtime. For once, Carter figured she wouldn't have to be ordered out of her lab and off-base. She would gladly welcome a weekend holed up alone in her house, maybe spending a day with Cassie at the mall.


	13. When it alteration finds

A/N: You guys are all so darn sweet, with your quick reading and lovely reviews, that I'm putting this up much earlier than I intended. All I will say is, it is the beginning of the end, and it starts something that will definitely be explored further by our lovely duo.

Ch 13 - When it alteration finds

Sunday found Sam Carter sitting outside in her backyard, reading an old professor's latest publication about wormhole theory. The book was impossible to get through, mainly because she knew for a fact most of it was wrong, but she lacked the ability to call him up and say, "Ha, ha, I'm right, you're not."

She had spent the weekend jumping from one 'relaxing' activity to the next. Her current definition of relaxing was anything that kept her mind off of the horribly embarrassing conversation she and her CO had recently had. She had cleaned her whole house, caught up on a huge stack of mail that had piled up, mowed the lawn, repotted a bunch of near-dead plants, washed every window inside and out, done a month's worth of laundry, taken Cassie to the mall, read two novels, and called her brother and spoken to her niece and nephew.

It had worked, for the most part. The dreams hadn't left her, but by this time, she was getting very good at waking herself up before the actual kissing occurred. She had resisted the temptation to see if now that they had talked about it, the dreams would intensify, deciding that either way it would only make them harder to ignore.

The subject immediately became impossible to ignore as a familiar voice called, "Carter! You back there?" She didn't answer, hoping that he might not come see for himself, but of course he did. She heard her gate creak open and a few seconds later he was standing in front of her, dressed casually in beige cargo pants and an old Air Force t-shirt. She idly wondered if cargo pants had an age limit as he shoved his hands in his pockets and smiled at her. "Hi. You hiding from anyone in particular?"

"I'm not hiding, sir."

"You didn't answer your doorbell."

"I can't hear it out here."

"You didn't answer when I called."

"I didn't hear you."

"Liar. What are you doing?"

"Reading," she said, holding the book up as evidence. He snatched it out of her hands, frowned at the title, and set it on the table.

"What have you been doing all weekend? Nobody's had to stop you breaking into your own lab..."

"Nothing."

"I didn't know you knew how to do nothing."

"You learn something every day, don't you sir."

"If you're going to be a smart-ass off-base you might as well drop the sir, Carter."

"I wasn't being a smart-ass."

"Yes, you were."

"No I wasn't."

"Yes you were."

"You've spent too much time with Daniel."

"I know. Especially this weekend. He's been following me around like a baby duck."

She couldn't help laugh at the strange simile. "What?" he asked defensively.

"Nothing," she said, still suppressing giggles at the mental picture of Colonel O'Neill waddling across a country rode with a tiny Daniel waddling faithfully after him. General Hammond, riding an old-fashioned bicycle, had to brake abruptly to keep from running them over.

Laughing, she jumped when her CO asked, "Someone in your head say something funny?"

"Sorry... I just thought of something... never mind."

"Are you delirious? You HAVE been sleeping now, right?"

"Yes, sir."

"Are you lying?"

"No sir." She wasn't exactly lying. She HAD been sleeping much better, she was just waking up many, many times throughout the night.

"So... how did you give Daniel the slip today then?"

"I didn't. He was bugging me all weekend about making sure you were okay and everything."

"He knows I'm fine, he's called me every day..."

"He didn't tell me that. Anyway. He and Teal'c are playing miniature golf."

"What?"

"He thought it would amuse Teal'c. I'd pay to see that, myself. I would have gone with them but it would have been so embarrassing for both of them when I beat them mercilessly."

"I'm sure. Sir."

He let that one go and said, "Seriously, you're not... freaking out about what happened before, are you?"

"Depends on what you mean by 'freaking out,' I suppose, but no." She picked up her near-empty glass of lemonade and finished it off. Frowning at the glass (it had provided a legitimate distraction from their conversation,) she stood up and said, "I need a refill. Do you want a drink?"

"Um, okay."

"I don't have any beer," she warned.

"Whatever that is is fine," he said with a shrug.

She nodded and took her glass back inside. As soon as the door clicked shut behind her, she pinched her arm, hard. Wincing in pain, she nodded. "Not asleep. That's something, at any rate," she muttered, going over to the fridge and grabbing the pitcher of lemonade. She filled another glass with ice cubes and carefully brought everything outside.

She was so preoccupied with not spilling any of it that when she had finally got it set down on the patio table, she noticed her CO was looking at her in that funny way he did sometimes that made her feel very glad General Hammond and her father weren't around.

"What?" she demanded nervously as she poured the drinks for them both.

She suddenly became aware of the fact that she looked absolutely terrible: her short hair was pulled back as much as possible from her face with one of Cassie's clips. It had been useful when she had been working on the flower beds earlier, but so much hair had fallen out of the clip that it was now undoubtedly just a giant mess. All she had on was a small white tee-shirt with several dirt smudges all over it and an old frayed pair of denim shorts. She wasn't even wearing shoes; her sandals were lying forgotten in the middle of the yard.

She frowned at the realization that she cared what she looked like around him. He was talking again, and she hadn't been paying attention. "... looks good. What are those pinkish ones called?"

"Hmm? Oh. Begonias," she answered, figuring out that he had been talking about the yard-work she had obviously just finished.

"Oh." He sat down and took the glass she offered. "Thanks."

She nodded, sitting back down in her own chair, and applied herself to sipping the lemonade slowly while pretending to eye her yard critically, as though she was thinking seriously about... anything.

After several minutes of silence, the Colonel asked, "See Cassie this weekend?"

"We spent most of yesterday at the mall."

"Yuck."

She laughed. "It wasn't so bad. She threw a fit when I brought her home though because Janet told her she'd have to take back a skirt she got."

"Why?"

"Janet thinks it was too short."

"Oh. Hmm. That's... disturbing."

"Sir?"

"Cassie's thirteen."

"Yes, I know."

"So isn't she a little young for... never mind."

"If it makes you feel any better, we also spent a lot of time in the Disney store."

He laughed. "Thanks. That helps... a little."

"I don't know what you're so concerned about, you're the one that got her ears pierced over a year ago."

"That's... different."

"How?"

"I'm not sure. But it is."

"Right," she said sarcastically. They were quiet for a few more minutes.

"Sir, don't take this the wrong way," Carter finally started. "But... what exactly are you doing here?"

"Can't a guy barge in on his 2IC's downtime without an agenda?" he asked jokingly. He shrugged at her in response. "Okay, okay. Well, the thing is... and this is partly to do with me spending the whole weekend with Daniel, but this idea was all mine, I'll have you know," he started off. She raised an eyebrow curiously. This should be good. "Anyway... we both knew no matter what you said, you were... still thinking about what's been happening probably, because well... you're Carter, that's what you do. You think about stuff. So anyway... I came up with a solution to your problem."

"You did?" she asked in surprise.

"Yup. Now, before you say no, hear me out. You're a scientist."

"Well-spotted."

"And a smart-ass, but that's beside the point. You're a scientist," he repeated. She nodded and bit her lip to keep her comments to herself. "So you like to do experiments. To prove or disprove a theory." He paused and looked at her, waiting for a signal that he was making sense. She nodded. He continued. "So I was thinking we should do an experiment."

"What are you talking about?"

"You saw me and your... twin or whatever kissing, and now you're... thinking about that. Obviously the solution is clear. We just have to kiss."

Her eyes widened in shock. "Sir, that's completely inappropriate..."

"Is it? I think it will help restore our team dynamic, how could that possibly by inappropriate."

"But... the regulations..."

"Can be overlooked if deemed necessary under the circumstances. Like in Antarctica when we... when it was so cold..."

"Sir, we _can't," _she argued.

He shrugged. "Why not? Look, here's what I figure. It can't be as big a deal as you're making it to be."

"Me?"

"Okay, well I'll admit this is based on my own occasional thoughts... all right, what I'm saying is, we're probably both making a bigger deal out of this than it could ever possibly be in real life."

"I don't think..."

"I wasn't asleep that night," he said suddenly. "That last night. When you and Daniel were talking. I heard all of that." She hid her face in her hands in embarrassment. "And that's why I didn't tell you I was awake, because I knew it would embarrass you even more. But I know what you meant... and honestly, I don't think if we were to... I don't see how it could be as... as I at least, maybe you I don't know... have... imagined it."

She looked at him, stunned. Was he seriously suggesting this insane idea? There was no way it would help... just talking about it had made the dreams worse, actually doing it surely would... although if he was right, it could be a permanent cure.

Her mind instantly went back to her best friend in middle school. Everyone else had misconstrued their relationship so much that they had gotten confused and started to wonder if maybe they could be boyfriend/girlfriend. Their first kiss had swiftly nixed that idea. It had been so awkward... like watching Leia kiss Luke in "The Empire Strikes Back." Her cheeks flushed as she remembered watching the movie with Cassie and Janet, remembering Cassie teasing her about the Colonel being Han Solo...

"Carter? Come on, respond. I don't want to have to explain to the doc how I managed to put you into a catatonic state..."

"Sorry, sir, I just... are you sure this is a good idea?"

"No," he said with a casual shrug, as though it didn't matter to him either way. She would have found that irritating, except that his eyes told her he wasn't taking it casually at all no matter how the rest of him was acting. "But there's only one way to find out."

She thought about it for several minutes. There were so many reasons why this was a very bad idea. And the reasons it was potentially a good idea were dubious at best. But it was still an idea, and an intriguing one at that. And they were approaching the idea in such a scientific way that it really couldn't backfire. There were few things less romantic than discussing the pros and cons of a hypothetical kiss. He might be right; it might be the answer to her problem. After all, it had apparently worked on the other Sam Carter. There had to be rules though. Definitely.

"If we... try your experiment, sir," she said carefully. "I think there should be rules."

"Okay. What sort of rules?"

"Well... rules agreed upon ahead of time, regardless of the outcome of the experiment."

"That's not very scientific. I thought the experiment could confirm or refute assertions..."

"Sir. Seriously."

"Okay, okay. Rules. Go for it."

"Okay. If we do this, no matter what... happens... NOBODY, not even Daniel or Teal'c, can ever know about it."

"OR Janet," he stipulated.

"Oh God if I told Janet we even HAD this conversation she would never let me hear the end of it."

"Good. Okay, I agree to that rule. Any others?"

"Umm... we also never mention it again to each other."

"Full denial. Are you sure?"

"It would be a lot easier, sir. Hypothetically speaking, of course."

"Of course. Anything else?"

"If the experiment... fails. That is to say, if it doesn't stop... my problem... the problem is mine to deal with from now on. You can't try to help me any more."

"I'll agree to that on the condition that you stop considering it a problem and accept it."

She bit her lip, thinking about it for a moment, and said, "Okay. And one more thing."

"What?"

"The experiment cannot, under any circumstances, be repeated again."

He hesitated to agree for so long that she seriously thought he was going to call the whole thing off, and she was alarmed to find that she felt disappointed as that thought crossed her mind.

"All right," he finally agreed. "Unless at some point in the future we simultaneously agree to change that rule," he stipulated. The fact that he said that should have set off the warning bells in her own head, but she was too interested in the experiment by this point to turn back. It was the proverbial curiosity that killed the cat, or in her case, led her to do things like set off naquada reactors in her lab without informing General Hammond before hand.

"Deal," she agreed. He looked surprised for a moment but recovered quickly.

"Okay. Good to know," he said, setting his glass down and standing up as if to leave.

"What are you doing?" she asked, confused. It had taken long enough to come to an agreement, now was the time to...

"I'm not going to do it _now,_" he said, as though she were ridiculous for assuming that was the plan.

"Why not?"

"I... can't."

"Why?" She was being intentionally belligerent; they had de-romanticized the event so much that she was hopeful the kiss would be a repeat of her previously similar experience. If they waited much longer, she wasn't sure the outcome would be favorable. Or maybe it would be entirely too favorable, and then the problem would be even bigger than before.

"Just... it's not a good idea."

"So what, you want to set up an appointment to conduct this experiment?"

"No," he said quickly. "That would be too much like a... a date."

"Okay, then what exactly do you propose we do?"

"I don't know... tomorrow at work..."

"No way! There are security cameras everywhere. Why do you want to do it at work?"

"Safety net," he said simply. "If I'm... if there's a possibility we might be... interrupted... it would be... better."

"Or we could get caught and there's no way the General would believe this story, even though it's the truth," she pointed out.

"Okay. Good point then. After work, tomorrow."

"That sounds more like a date to me, sir," she pointed out sarcastically, wondering where her earlier embarrassment had gone. She was almost _daring _him to kiss her now, at this point.

"Okay, okay, fine. You pick then, whatever. Just... not now."

"You're not busy at the moment," she pointed out.

"Yeah but..."

"What's wrong with now?"

"I just... you look too... you look too good right now, okay."

She looked down at herself incredulously.

"You're all... casual and comfortable and... yeah. Bad idea."

"Permission to speak freely?" she asked unnecessarily.

"Of course, but..."

"You are a very strange man."

He laughed. "Yeah, thanks."

"Well, okay, you don't want to do it now, I don't want to do it... later," she stated.

They sat in thoughtful silence for a few minutes. Finally, he stood up. "All right, fine. Have it your own way."

She looked up at him in surprise and said, "What?"

"You heard me," he said impatiently, holding out his hand. She took it warily and he tugged her to her feet. She looked around nervously, suddenly filled with doubt. This had to be one of the stupidest ideas in history, she thought to herself.

"Change your mind?" he finally challenged.

"No," she said defiantly, looking up at him. He was smirking, damn him. He knew her entirely too well, she decided as he leaned down slightly and their lips made contact before she had time to change her mind. Her head reeled at the first contact, although it was perfectly innocent. Well, not completely innocent, but it was lip to lip, nothing more. They could easily insist that it was perfectly innocent later if they needed to. To other people at least, she decided.

His hands settled at her waist and pulled her a little bit closer, and somehow she knew he was just about to deepen the kiss when they were interrupted by someone screaming her name. Her first thought was that she was dreaming again and waking herself up again, but somehow she knew that wasn't right. He broke the contact, frowning and looking around.

Clearing her head, she looked around for the source of the noise as well, and heard the gate being thrown open. She jumped away from him, putting a respectable three feet between them, and turned to see Cassie wheeling her bicycle into her yard.


	14. Summer's lease

Ch 14 - Summer's Lease

As her CO muttered something that distinctly sounded like "Ohfercryinoutloud," Cassie slammed the gate shut behind herself, leaned her bike against the fence, and hurried over to them both, obviously too preoccupied with her own thoughts to notice that Carter's face was bright red and the Colonel was unable to look either of them in the face at the moment.

"Cassie? What's wrong?" Carter asked.

"Can I spend the night here, Sam? Mom and I had a huge fight and..." she paused suddenly and looked back and forth between them, suddenly having the feeling she was interrupting something. "Oh, sorry," she said quickly. "I'll just go..."

"No!" they both said at the same time. That only made her feel even more in the way.

"Cassie," Carter said carefully, determined to change the subject. "Does your mom know you're here?"

"No," Cassie admitted.

At that, the Colonel went inside after exchanging a glance with Carter; she knew he was going to call Janet and make sure she knew Cassie was okay.

"Sit down," Carter said with a sigh, leading the little girl back to the patio. As Cassie took a seat, Carter asked, "You guys aren't still fighting about the skirt are you?"

"No... well, sort of. She got mad because she found out I wanted to wear it to Ashley's birthday party this weekend... it's a boy-girl party."

"Oh. I see. And she doesn't want you to go?"

"No. And EVERYONE else is going to be there. And Ashley's parents are going to be there the whole time..."

"In the room or just in the house?"

"I don't know. Mom just kept going on about how I didn't understand, things were different than they were on my planet, kids were more dangerous, blah blah blah..."

The Colonel came back outside with another glass of ice and a handful of cookies. He crammed one in his mouth and handed the rest to Cassie. Catching the look Carter was giving him, he misinterpreted it and said, "Is this a girly thing? Am I supposed to go?"

"No," Cassie said. "You can help me talk some sense into Mom. She's being unreasonable."

"She's just concerned about you," Carter said gently, trying to smooth things over.

"You can say that again. I just got off the phone with her. She ordered me to bring you straight back, even if I had to carry you kicking and screaming."

"Jack... please..." Cassie begged, giving him a puppy-dog look she learned from Daniel.

"I reminded her she didn't have authority to order me around except in a medical emergency," he replied with a pleased-with-himself grin.

Great, suck up to Cassie even more, Carter thought. That's just what she needs. "Sir, maybe it would be better if you and I continued our... earlier conversation later," she hinted.

"No, I want him to stay," Cassie said stubbornly. "He's on my side."

He smirked at her. Carter narrowed her eyes at him and said, "It's not about sides, Cassie... all right. Maybe both of you just need time to cool off."

"Yeah. I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"Okay. I'll go tell your mom you're spending the night here. You've still got some clothes here and you can catch the bus from here for school tomorrow."

"Thanks, Sam," Cassie said with a smile, taking a big bite out of another cookie.

Carter went inside, grabbed her cordless phone, and pressed the preprogrammed number for Janet's house. As she waited for her friend to pick up, she inspected her fridge: Cassie was tiny but she could put away a lot of food. Pizza would definitely have to be ordered, she thought as Janet answered the phone.

"Hey, Jan."

"Hi Sam. What is the Colonel doing over at your place?" she asked slyly.

"Can we focus on your daughter for the moment please? She wants to spend the night here."

"We're in the middle of something, she can't just run to you whenever I do something she doesn't like."

"I know, but I think you both need a little time apart to cool down and see each other's side. Cassie's a good kid, Janet. She's not going to do anything stupid."

"I'm not worried about her I'm worried about the other children."

"I realize that. She doesn't understand the difference. Just leave her here for the night, I'll talk to her some. You just remember that she can take care of herself when she needs to. She's a tough kid."

"That's what Colonel O'Neill said," Janet said in frustration. "All right. Tell her I'll... be home early tomorrow, when she gets home from school."

"Okay. Are you okay by yourself? Do you want me to come over? Or call Daniel or something?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Sure?"

"Positive. Thanks, Sam. And tomorrow you can explain to me exactly what your CO was doing at your house on a Sunday evening..."

"Janet!"

The CO in question came into the kitchen looking cornered. "Don't leave me alone with her anymore! She's asking too many questions!" he wailed dramatically, with the same look he got when they were pinned down by Jaffa.

"Like mother like daughter," Carter muttered. She could hear Janet laughing on the other end of the phone. "I'll see you tomorrow, Jan."

"Bye, Sam."

She hung up the phone and turned to her CO as she redialed. "I'm ordering pizza for Cassie. Do you want to stay?"

"Do you want me to stay?"

She shrugged. "You're welcome to. She obviously wants you to. Whatever you like."

"Do you want me to?" he repeated. She deliberately ignored him as she placed the order, ordering enough pizza for him as well. If he decided to leave, she could heat it up tomorrow, no big deal.

"We didn't finish..." he started when she had hung up the phone and had her attention again.

"Please, sir. One issue at a time."

"Fair enough."

"Good. I'm going to go jump in the shower before the pizza gets here, so you get to entertain Cassie."

His eyes widened. "She's going to ask me what I'm doing here again..."

"Tell her you were helping me plant flowers, I don't know. Or just tell her it's classified. That'll work."

"Oh, good idea. Okay."

When Carter came back downstairs, clean and dressed in jeans and a light sweater but with her hair still a bit damp, Cassie and the Colonel were playing chess. Smart idea, Carter thought. It would distract Cassie from interrogating him too much.

The good thing about thirteen year old girls, Carter decided as she looked over at Cassie, who was sprawled sideways in her large armchair, was that while they tended to be a bit over-dramatic, they were also a bit volatile. Intense anger could turn in a moment to the opposite. Currently, Cassie was as happy as could be. She and the Colonel were laughing hysterically at whatever garbage they had found on television. She wasn't sure what the movie was called, but it had Adam Sandler in it and seemed ridiculous to her. They were enjoying it though, that was all that mattered.

To her surprise, Cassie was in such a good mood by the time it was over that she didn't even argue when Carter told her it was time for bed, as she had to get up earlier than usual for school the next day. She hugged them both goodnight and went upstairs to the guest room she always used. Carter knew she had been there enough times that she knew where everything was, but she tried to offer to help her nonetheless, because she suddenly felt very uncomfortable with the idea of being alone with her CO right now.

With a slightly mischievous look in her eyes though, Cassie had dismissed the offer of assistance and bounded up the stairs, leaving them alone again.

----------

A/N: Patience is a virtue. ("Not right now it isn't," I know, all you O'Connell's out there...)


	15. Play on

A/N: Okay, here's the final chapter. (Cue celebratory music).  Honestly, I have been shocked and extremely flattered by the responses to this story, which I consider to be one of my worst.  Seriously, you guys are so great. Especially the ones who call me 'evil' and 'cruel.' On that note, I hope you're not too disappointed with the end.  There will be a short epilogue, but if you've read my other stories you know I don't do anything that would never happen on the show.

Ch 15 - Play on

Carter busied herself clearing away empty soda cans, pizza boxes, and greasy napkins. She took them all into the kitchen and crammed them into the trash can, although they barely fit. She wrestled the full bag out of the can and tied it, took it outside to the large can in the garage, and came back in, looking around for something else that "needed" to be done. There was nothing.

"So," the Colonel said when she went back into the living room, hoping there was a can somewhere she had overlooked, or something.

"So," he repeated, watching her curiously. He was entirely too relaxed for comfort. It wasn't right. If she was this nervous about everything that had happened and was potentially going to happen, he should be as well. It just wasn't fair.

"Um. Thanks for staying with Cassie. By the end of the night I don't think she even remembered she was mad about something."

"She's a good kid."

"Yeah."

Cue uncomfortable silence, Carter thought, looking around, trying to find something to focus on. A magazine, book... the turned-off television. Anything.

Nope. Nothing.

"So... did you change your mind?" the Colonel finally asked.

She knew what he was talking about but she looked at him with a deliberately puzzled expression. He was holding one of her throw pillows on his lap and fiddling with the fringe. "About what?" she asked.

"The... experiment. We were interrupted. You going to abort the procedure now?"

Yes. That would be the smart thing to do. Technically they _had _kissed. And even that little kiss had been... the smart thing to do would definitely be to leave it at that and never mention it again. Yes. Definitely.

"No," she heard herself say out loud before mentally banging her head against a wall.

He looked surprised for a moment, but he recovered quickly, and seemed to be restraining himself from smiling with great difficulty as he said, "Okay. Good."

"Do you? Want to... abort the procedure?"

She felt it only fair to ask, but the look he gave her in response was clearly translatable as roughly "Good God no" or possibly "are you freaking kidding me."

"Do you want to... stand or-"

"Yeah. Okay. Yeah."

They both got to their feet quickly, squaring off. She laughed nervously at the ridiculousness of the entire situation.

"I've asked you nicely not to giggle."

That made her laugh harder, but she had to defend herself on this one. "First of all, you didn't ask nicely, you ordered me not to. Second of all, those were entirely different circumstances."

"So you're arguing that this is a giggle-appropriate scenario?"

"Yes. I guess I am."

"Oh. Well, okay. Just try not to laugh _while _we're... you know."

Still laughing, she said, "Okay, I'll try."

She idly wondered if she was flirting with her CO. She had never taken the time in middle school to learn to flirt properly, and had never really tried to. Under normal circumstances, she would consider this a normal, friendly conversation she could have with any of the members of SG-1. Under the bizarre circumstances now surrounding them however... the phone was ringing. And the Colonel was cursing under his breath at said phone.

"What?!" he barked into it after picking it up off her end table. "Oh. Hi doc..."

Not good, Carter thought quickly, glancing at the clock. It was after eleven, she was going to think the Colonel was... and with Cassie here, no less...

"... no, she's asleep. At least I think she is. Want me to go check?... nothing, just... of course I'm coming to work tomorrow... of course she is... Doc, I don't think that's..."

Carter couldn't make out what Janet was saying, but she could hear that her friend was doing an awful lot of rapid-fire talking. The Colonel shot her a 'save-me' look, so she reluctantly reached for the phone, wincing as she imagined the ensuing conversation.

"Okay, Doc, nice talking to you!" her CO said loudly while Janet was still talking, handing the phone to her like he was holding a live grenade.

Laughing, she put the phone to her ear. "Jan? Breathe."

"Sam, what the hell is going on over there?" Janet demanded so loudly that one glance at the Colonel told Carter he had heard it as well.

Blushing, she took the phone into the kitchen and said quietly, "Nothing is going on Janet. He's my CO for crying... for goodness sake."

"OH NO!" Janet wailed dramatically. "You almost said for cryin..."

"JANET! Is there a REASON for this phone call?"

"I just wanted to see how it went with Cassie. I had no idea you were still entertaining company."

"I'm not entertaining company, Janet, he's just..."

"Your gentleman caller?"

"Okay, Blanche."

"Ooh, good one," Janet said, giggling. "Okay. Well, tomorrow at lunch you're telling me everything."

I wouldn't count on that Carter thought, feeling slightly guilty. But she knew she had been right earlier. Nobody else would possibly understand the situation. It _had _to stay between the two of them. At least until they retired or something. Or managed to create intergalactic peace. So basically forever.

"Sam? Are you listening to me?"

"Sorry," she said, blushing again. "Cassie's fine. She watched some silly movie and..."

"It's NOT silly!" the Colonel called loudly from the living room. Carter rolled her eyes and waited for Janet to stop laughing.

"What movie?" Janet asked out of curiosity.

"I don't know, something with Adam Sandler, he was a hockey player and then he started playing golf..."

"Sounds... wonderful," Janet said dryly.

"I concur."

Laughing, Janet said, "All right, well, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye."

Carter hung up the phone and turned around, jumping slightly and dropping the phone because he was standing right there. The phone clattered loudly to the ground. She heard it open up and the batteries fall out and roll off in various directions, but didn't go searching for them, because he was looking at her very seriously. Too seriously for the experiment.

"The Fraiser women have very bad timing," he stated.

"Yeah," she agreed, wishing there was space for her to take a step back. Unfortunately, whoever built her house had decided to put a counter there. "Umm, just to... clarify... the rules..."

"Suck?" he guessed, finishing the sentence for her.

She laughed nervously and said, "No. Well, maybe. But... you um... still agree? To the... the rules?"

"Yup."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

She wasn't entirely sure, but she rather thought they both moved to close the gap between them at the same time. However it started, she quickly found that not only was she being very thoroughly kissed, she was pinned between him and the counter, her hands had slid up his back, and his were tangled in her hair. At first she was much too overwhelmed to think of anything at all, then all of a sudden her mind was flooded with random thoughts, everything from _how late is it _to _he did NOT kiss HER like this _to _what if his hand got stuck there and we had to explain that to the General. _

It also gradually became apparent that she had forgotten what should have been an important rule: there should have been something restricting hand movement as well. Although at the moment she wasn't sure it would have helped, because hers didn't seem to be listening to her, as she gradually became aware that they were in random places like his chest or back or the nape of his neck. He seemed to be having the same problem. Or maybe he knew exactly where they were and what they were doing, she wasn't sure, but she _was _aware of the fact that she knew what his hands were up to a lot more frequently than her own.

She was almost relieved when the kiss ended, because she felt like she might do something incredibly stupid if it went on for another second. At the same time, she felt suddenly cold and disappointed. As he was still standing right in front of her, she stared absently at his chest for a long time, not willing to glance up and see what he was looking at or how he looked.

She would have been perfectly happy for a Fraiser, or anyone or anything for that matter, to interrupt at that point, because she had no idea what to say or do. The experiment had failed spectacularly, and now that it had, she felt ridiculous; she should have known it would from the beginning. Yet, the more she thought about it, the less certain she was that it _had _failed. Her feelings about the entire situation had been so muddled. At least now they were clear. Clearly not the type of clear she had hoped for, but at least they were clear. And the confusion she had over how she wanted him to feel about her twin was gone as well, because he had definitely _not _kissed her like that. She wondered if he had deliberately not kissed her in his usual way, so that she would truly get that he wasn't her husband. It sounded like something he might do.

"Umm... the rules."

He was going to try to make her have a conversation now, after that? Bad idea.

"Sir?" she said, choosing that word extremely carefully.

"The rules... were a good idea."

"Yeah."

They were silent again for some time, and he let out a sigh. "Dammit Carter."

"What?" she asked defensively.

He ran his hand through his hair impatiently. "Nothing. Just... I hope this worked for you because you just sure as hell made my life even more complicated than it was already."

"It was YOUR idea. SIR," she reminded.

"Yeah, well you're the smart one. You should have talked me out of it."

"You know me and experiments sir..." she said somewhat lamely. He nodded. When had his eyes gone all... twinkly?

"Okay. Well. It's late. I have to go."

"Yes."

They headed through the house to the front door. He stopped with his hand on the knob and turned back to her. "I um... hope it... pays off. For you. I know I'm not allowed to mention it anymore but just... yeah."

"Well, as you pointed out earlier, I _am _a scientist. When a theory is disproven, it's just as interesting as when it's proven correct."

"Well that's very nice for you, because whatever the hell caused this in the first place, I'm pretty sure it's contagious."

"Sir?"

He smirked and opened the door. "Yeah. I'll definitely be dreaming about _that _for a _long _time."

The End.


	16. Epilogue

A/N: This is it, the end of the road. Thanks so much to everyone who read and reviewed this story. A few quick things before we get on with the show: yes, debcole, yes it was - I'm so glad somebody recognized it! And whoever asked if my name comes from that Meg Ryan movie: EW! GOODNESS NO! Sorry, it's just not the first time that's happened, and sadly it won't be the last. And to everyone who expressed disappointment that it's ending: thank you, I take that as a huge compliment. But I do think it's best to end something while it's good rather than drag it out indefinitely (see "The X-Files" for a good cautionary tale against that sort of thing.) So this is absolutely it, but there are plenty of other good stories out there to read as well)

Epilogue

"Sam?" Cassie asked, concealing a yawn as she knelt on the bed and nudged Carter's shoulder. She was smiling in her sleep. "Sam? SAM! Wake up!"

Carter reluctantly turned towards Cassie and opened her eyes. "What?"

"Your alarm was going off. Didn't you hear it?"

"No, sorry... oh good, you got up by yourself." She sat up and surveyed the person she was supposed to be in charge of. Luckily, Cassie had gotten herself up and ready for school, because a glance at the clock told Carter five more minutes and she'd have missed her bus, and another ten and Carter would have been late for work.

"Thanks for waking me up."

"Sure. Thanks for letting me spend the night."

"Anytime."

"I had fun... with you and Jack."

"Good."

"Maybe next time I come over... he'll be here too?" she asked in a tone too innocent to be authentic.

"You need to work on your subtlety. And you need to move your butt down to that bus stop," Carter said as she got out of bed and headed to her closet to throw some clothes on.

"All right... see you later."

"Bye, Cass. Have a good day at school." Carter quickly hugged her and got ready as fast as humanly possible. She raced up to the base and was miraculously there on time. With the distraction of Cassie and being late, she didn't have time to worry about how things might be weird today at work after what had happened the night before. As she pulled into the parking lot, it hit her in a wave of uncertainty.

It was potentially a serious situation. Not to get overdramatic, but potentially the future of SG-1 could hinge on whether or not they were able to keep working as usual after what had happened. Well, for her part, she was determined to do everything in her power to make sure that things were as good or better than ever.

With that thought in mind, she headed to Daniel's office, expecting to find both Daniel and Teal'c there. She was half right. Daniel was there, but he was talking to Colonel O'Neill, and Teal'c was nowhere in sight. She stopped just short of the doorway, knowing she shouldn't listen to them talking, but she couldn't help it.

"So what exactly happened?"

"Nothing, Daniel. We talked about what's been bothering her. Why, what did you expect?" her CO said in a convincing tone.

"I don't know, I guess... so everything is... resolved?"

"As far as I know," he answered, sounding nonchalant.

"I tried to call you last night to see how it went..."

"Cassie showed up at Carter's right when I was about to leave. She had a fight with Janet or something. I don't know, a girl thing. She wanted me to stay though. We watched 'Happy Gilmore.'"

"Sam watched 'Happy Gilmore?'" Daniel asked incredulously.

"Unfortunately yes," Carter called, deciding to interrupt the conversation before Daniel could interrogate the Colonel any further.

They both smiled at her, her CO with perhaps a little-more-than professional enthusiasm, but it was not completely unprecedented.

"Hey, Sam. Good weekend, sounds like?" Daniel asked.

"Yeah. Cassie and Janet had a fight but everything's fine now."

"Good," Daniel said slowly, looking back and forth between them carefully. Both were being deliberately obtuse, he knew it. They were hiding something, that was for certain. The only trouble was, they were very, very good at it. Frustrated, he looked at his watch and said, "We're supposed to meet Teal'c in the commissary."

"Save me a seat, Spacemonkey," Colonel O'Neill said casually. "I need to fill Carter in on General Hammond's latest tactical advantages... strategy."

"Um. Okay," Daniel said, grabbing his button-down shirt and pulling it on as he headed out the door. "If you wanted to be alone you could have just _asked,_" he called just as he was out of the target range of small projectiles being thrown at him by the Colonel.

Blushing slightly at Daniel's comment, Carter busied herself with Daniel's computer.

"So," the Colonel began. Carter was getting very tired of conversations beginning with that not-so-innocent little word. "Cassie got off to school all right?"

"Yes, sir. She actually woke me up. I slept right through my alarm. She was up and ready though... I'll have to tell Janet, she'll be proud."

"I told you Cassie was a good kid."

"I never said she wasn't, sir. Janet's just... a little overprotective."

"Yeah. That's understandable. Still, Cassie's tough. Hey, maybe it would make the doc feel better if Teal'c and I gave her a few self-defense... hey wait a second!" he interrupted himself, looking surprised. "You slept through your alarm? That means you were sleeping."

"What an amazing discovery, sir," she deadpanned, trying to end the conversation, as she was afraid she knew where it was heading.

"So that means you... solved the... issue then?"

"The issue you agreed never to bring up again?"

"Hey, can't a guy ask his 2IC if she had a good night's sleep? There's nothing wrong with that. Unless he asks her in the shower."

She couldn't help blushing _and _laughing at that one, and she sincerely hoped nobody had overheard that.

"I looked it up. That's what it says in the handbook. Word for word."

"Really," she said in the perfect definition of skepticism.

"Yup," he said smugly, shoving his hands into his pockets. "So... did you?"

"Yes," she said frankly, flashing a small smile before turning her attention back to the computer.

"Good. That's... good." The room was silent for a few moments, aside from the small clicking sound of typing. "What are you doing over there?" her CO finally asked out of curiosity.

"Installing a new screensaver on Daniel's computer, sir," she said with a grin. "I found it last week but this is the first time I've been left unsupervised in his lab."

"Unsupervised? What about me?!" he asked indignantly. "I'm in charge here, Forcryinoutloud..."

She laughed at her own mistake and said, "Sorry, sir. I had a feeling you wouldn't have a problem with it."

"Let's see the screensaver."

She typed in a few more commands and a conga line of dancing mummies popped up. They danced their way across the screen. One of them gradually became completely unraveled and ran after the others with his naked mummy butt showing. Carter tried hard not to giggle, while her CO was laughing loudly and appreciatively.

"I wish I had thought of that!" he said enthusiastically as she got up from the computer and headed for the door.

Still chuckling, he hurried after her. She could hear him muttering possible excuses to be in Daniel's office when the screensaver first presented itself. Yup. They were all going to be just fine.


End file.
